In a notable interview with Brian Williams on NBC in November, comedian Jerry Seinfeld shared his recent thoughts on identifying himself as being on the autism spectrum. Seinfeld stated, “I think, on a very drawn out scale, I think I’m on the spectrum.” When asked why he felt this way, he elaborated that he often struggles with basic social engagement and can be very literal in conversations, sometimes missing the implied meanings in expressions. He emphasized that he doesn’t view this as a dysfunction but rather as a different way of thinking.
The autism community reacted swiftly to Seinfeld’s remarks. Autism Speaks, an organization with which he has collaborated, expressed appreciation for his candidness, stating that many individuals on the spectrum could resonate with his experiences. Conversely, the response on social media reflected a strong disapproval, with many parents of autistic children arguing that Seinfeld’s self-diagnosis was inappropriate. One father of an autistic child remarked, “My daughter has autism, Jerry Seinfeld does not,” while another parent, Kim Rossi Stagliano, highlighted the stark contrast between her daughters’ experiences and Seinfeld’s comments.
Two weeks later, Seinfeld revised his earlier statement in an interview with Access Hollywood, clarifying, “I don’t have autism. I’m not on the spectrum.” He admitted that while watching a play about autism, he felt a connection that prompted his initial thoughts. This backtracking was disappointing to some, especially considering the play he referenced, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, opened just before his comments.
As someone who has lived closely with an individual on the spectrum, I empathized with Seinfeld’s initial reflections. My ex-husband was diagnosed with Asperger’s in 2011, a diagnosis that shed light on many challenging aspects of our long marriage. Diagnosed when Asperger’s was still a recognized term within the autism spectrum, the revelation helped us understand the differences in how we perceived the world.
Research indicates that neurotypical individuals, like myself, often possess a “theory of mind,” which allows for empathy and understanding of others’ emotions. In contrast, individuals on the spectrum, as noted by experts like Dr. Richard Perry, may struggle with this emotional mirroring, leading to misunderstandings in relationships. For instance, on an empathy test, I scored significantly higher than my ex, which explained many of the discrepancies in our emotional experiences.
Despite our diagnosis, we encountered skepticism from friends and family who struggled to reconcile my ex’s high-functioning persona with their perceptions of autism. Often, the broader public’s understanding of Asperger’s is limited by sensationalized media portrayals that overlook the nuanced realities of those living with it.
The timeline for recognizing high-functioning autism has evolved, and many adults, including Seinfeld, were not diagnosed during childhood as Asperger’s was only officially acknowledged in the DSM in 1994. Consequently, my ex and I relied on anecdotes to piece together our experiences, illustrating the complexities of living with autism.
There were moments in our relationship that highlighted the challenges we faced, such as the time he became engrossed in a guidebook while I was anxious about our separation in a crowded train station. His ability to focus intensely on his interests often led to moments of disconnect, which I initially found endearing.
However, a significant turning point occurred during a medical crisis with our child. When I reached out for support, my ex’s delayed response left me feeling isolated and unheard. This incident underscored the fundamental mismatch in our emotional processing and ultimately contributed to our decision to part ways.
Seinfeld’s initial comments and subsequent retraction reminded me of the ongoing struggle for recognition and understanding within the autism community. While some aspects of being on the spectrum have gained a certain acceptance in tech circles—think figures like Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates—there remains a stigma that can be detrimental to those outside of these realms.
Ultimately, without a formal diagnosis, neither Seinfeld nor we will ever fully understand the intricacies of our experiences. Yet, his interests, such as his reputed collection of Porsches, hint at a perspective that could align with those on the spectrum.
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In summary, the conversation surrounding autism, self-diagnosis, and personal experiences is complex and layered. Both individual stories and societal perceptions play a crucial role in shaping understanding and empathy within and beyond the autism community.