Parenting
The Challenges of Being a New Mother
By Clara Thompson
Updated: January 5, 2016
Originally Published: January 18, 2011
- Unpleasant Communication: While I may be overly sensitive, it’s hard to stay composed when someone is yelling at me. Unfortunately, I now have a tiny boss who, when feeling hungry or irritable, raises himself to his full 22 inches and SHOUTS at me until his face turns a deep shade of red. To make matters more complicated, we don’t speak the same language, so I’m often left translating his demands. More often than not, what he seeks is my breast, which makes this entire situation feel somewhat inappropriate.
- Round-the-Clock Nourishment: On one hand, it’s a beautiful privilege to sustain my baby with the “liquid gold” that my body produces. However, it’s astonishing how much time this takes up, both day and night. For a little one with a stomach the size of a walnut, he sure is a frequent eater.
- An Unpleasant Task: If you stumbled upon a job listing for a 24/7 live-in caregiver that required managing human waste, drool, and the occasional vomit, would you apply? I doubt it. Just recently, my baby spit up on my freshly cleaned shirt in the morning (I was quite proud of that accomplishment), only to later leak urine and feces onto my pants—on two separate occasions. Good thing I didn’t bother changing my pants after the first incident.
- A New Kind of Date Night: Nowadays, our Friday evenings consist of entertaining our baby in his swing while we try to eat dinner with both hands. We may even catch an episode of our favorite show before it’s bath time. Then, I’m back in the glider nursing him to sleep for an hour. If all goes well (which isn’t always the case), we collapse into bed, utterly exhausted. As for intimacy? With the baby’s crib in our room, when the moment strikes, let’s just say my couch has seen more action than it has in years.
- Taking on the Blame: I’ve found myself attributing every little issue to my own actions. If the baby is gassy, it must be due to something I consumed. If he won’t sleep, I assume it’s because I kept him up too late. I thought I’d be immune to the all-too-common “Mommy guilt,” but apparently, it follows me relentlessly. Can’t I at least share the blame with my partner? There are two parents in this household! There’s immense pressure to be flawless and embody “Super Mom,” especially when my own mother managed without the resources we have today. Sometimes, I think I’d prefer less Google and more wine (one glass should be fine, right?).
- Sleep Deprivation: This is a common refrain, but it’s spot on. I love sleep, yet it’s been months since I managed three consecutive hours. During particularly challenging nights when the baby wakes up every hour (thank you, four-month sleep regression), I occasionally find myself wondering if we should have just gotten a pet instead. So please don’t expect me to have the energy for postnatal Pilates or stroller workouts in the park, even though I should work off the remnants of pregnancy weight.
- Feeling Inadequate: I usually consider myself confident and capable, but since becoming a mother, self-doubt has crept in. I question my instincts and knowledge, unsure if I’m making the right choices. This new responsibility is daunting, and walking away isn’t an option. It’s fortunate that hospitals don’t have a return policy for newborns.
Despite these challenges, I cherish my baby and count my blessings each day. I am grateful for our health, our peaceful environment, and the loving partnership that supports our parenting journey. I adore his smiles, coos, and giggles. Witnessing his growth is a joy, and I appreciate the deeper connections I’ve formed with family and friends. Joining the “mommy club” has been a rewarding experience, and I’m relieved to be done with pregnancy—let’s be honest, that’s the second-best gift after my baby.
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Summary: Becoming a new mother is filled with challenges, from managing sleepless nights to handling the emotional weight of motherhood. Despite the struggles, the love and joy that come from nurturing a baby are profound. Each experience, while difficult, contributes to the journey of parenthood.