As a parent, the journey of watching your child transition into adulthood is both exhilarating and challenging. This spring, my daughter, the ever-enigmatic Lily, completed her high school education. It felt like a significant milestone had been achieved… or so I believed.
This summer, Lily has been home more than I anticipated, juggling her part-time job at a local cinema while still leaning heavily on me for various needs. As August 22nd approaches, the date we will help her settle into her new life in Burlington, Vermont, I can’t shake the feeling of impending nostalgia. Currently, however, I find myself less sentimental and more overwhelmed by her various demands—requests for egg salad sandwiches, endless shopping trips, and the ongoing mystery of her missing beach towels.
I often wonder if her future roommates will fare better at keeping track of her belongings than I have. I can only hope they’ve mastered the skill of boiling an egg, although I doubt that level of expertise is covered in roommate matching forms. This college experience is not just about academics; it’s also about learning to manage her own life—skills like cooking and organizing her things will be just as crucial as mastering organic chemistry.
Knowing Lily, she has a knack for attracting a circle of friends who will likely take on some of these responsibilities for her. For the past 18 years, I have been one of those people. The idea of August 22nd feels liberating, akin to a release from confinement.
Despite my efforts to instill independence in her—she knows her bank balance to the cent and gets herself ready on time—there are still gaps. Making appointments remains a challenge, though she can easily schedule her beauty treatments. Fortunately, her car won’t be on campus next year, but she will need to find a dermatologist, given our long-standing battle with her skin. At least she can look forward to nice nails, as I’m sure she’s already researched the best salons in Burlington, VT.
Lily often speaks of her desire to become an independent woman. I suggested that becoming responsible for her own laundry and obtaining her immunization records would be ideal starting points. To date, she’s only completed one load of laundry on her own. I suspect I will need to step in to retrieve those vital records, as they are as significant to me as they are to her—key to my own personal release date.
Recently, while dining during one of our shopping excursions, Lily expressed her concerns about societal injustices and her hope to contribute positively to the world after college. This is commendable, but I reminded her that small changes at home—like tidying up and preparing her own meals—could also make a difference. She responded with a familiar eye roll, signaling her frustration with my mundane suggestions.
In a moment of inspiration, I quoted Gandhi, suggesting she should “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Her reaction was skeptical; she worried I was trivializing Gandhi’s philosophy by applying it to household chores. I can’t help but think he’d understand the teenage struggle—I imagine even he faced eye rolls from his children.
With the intention of embodying the change I wish to see, I’m planning to organize and clean today, aiming to make Gandhi proud. However, first, I must contact the pediatrician and car service to sort out matters for Lily. Who knows how long that will take?
As I brace myself for the upcoming date, I find myself repeating, “August 22nd, August 22nd, August 22nd!”
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Summary:
The journey of parenting culminates in significant milestones, such as preparing your child for college. As the date approaches, feelings of nostalgia and a sense of liberation intertwine, prompting reflections on independence and responsibility. While some skills remain unmastered, the transition signifies not just a new chapter for your child but also for you as a parent.