Last night, my youngest son, Alex, helped me assemble a bathroom cabinet that seemed to have a million parts. Unlike me, he skips the instructions and dives right in. He unwraps everything, meticulously organizes the pieces (sorting is his thing), and then gets down to business.
“We can figure this out, Mom,” he reassures me, glancing at the pictures and selecting the pieces he needs. His knuckle-cracking habit has become a constant companion as he pauses to strategize his next move. Previously, he resorted to pinching his neck, which left dark marks. Before that, he would suck on his fingers while fidgeting with himself — thankfully, we’ve come a long way, so I don’t mind the knuckle cracking at all.
Once again, he saved my sanity by helping me tackle this daunting assembly project. I really shouldn’t buy anything labeled “some assembly required,” but I can’t resist when I see a piece of furniture online, knowing he’ll assist me and genuinely enjoy it. Together, we’ve managed to build a desk, a dresser, two cabinets, and a chair (with only a few minor expletives on my part).
Every day, Alex surprises me with his quick wit and humor. He’s kind-hearted and incredibly bright, but good grief, he’s always on the move. It can be maddening, and I often have to hold back my frustration.
His teachers have been a tremendous support. They were the ones who first pointed out that he needs physical activity to fully engage in learning. They provided him with a large, bouncy ball to sit on in class, allowed gum chewing, and offered “fidgets,” like stress balls, to help kids channel their energy without causing disruption. This approach has been a game-changer for Alex, and it’s helped me as well. While he still needs daily reminders to stay focused, he’s improving in impulse control, thanks to the insights I received from his teachers. I learned that he’s not just being difficult; he genuinely struggles to control his need to move. Implementing what they taught me at home has made a significant difference.
Going to sporting events — something we frequently do since his older siblings play — is a challenge for him. The thought of sitting still for hours is torturous. We never leave home without a stress ball, gum, and a book. He still squirms a little, but he clings to his gum and squeezes that ball as if it’s a lifeline. Wearing a coat seems to provide him comfort and security; sometimes, he even wears his winter coat to bed.
Even when we head to the movies, which he has been eagerly anticipating, he still requires something to keep his hands occupied along with his snacks. I notice how much harder it is for him to relax and enjoy the film when we forget his fidget toys.
Long car journeys were once a nightmare until I realized he needs some way to stay active while strapped in. During homework time, he often has to walk around or swivel on his stool at the kitchen island to concentrate. He loves bouncing on large exercise balls too.
I now understand that many kids are naturally fidgety, and just because Alex processes things differently than his older siblings — who can sit still without issue — doesn’t make him a “bad” kid. All children have an inherent need for movement; they crave physical activity, whether it’s running, jumping, or dancing. My son just requires more movement than most.
If you’re coping with a fidgety child who can’t seem to sit still, you’ll know how stressful that can be. I often feel guilty when his restlessness frustrates me because I recognize he’s not doing it on purpose. It doesn’t matter how much physical activity he gets — biking for hours or playing countless games of tag — he simply needs to move while awake.
Memory and movement are interconnected. Alex learns best through hands-on experiences rather than passive observation. I’ve learned to be patient and let him discover his own way of learning. The bonus? I’ll always have a little helper when I make spontaneous purchases at IKEA.
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In summary, parenting a hyperactive child is a journey filled with challenges and rewards. Understanding your child’s unique needs and adapting to their learning style can foster a positive environment for both of you.