When it comes to teenage life, my fourth and final child seems to have adopted a strict “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy regarding sharing anything about his upcoming junior prom. It’s as if he thinks I’m a rookie in this parenting game, and trust me, I’m not!
So what’s a parent to do? Ask questions, naturally. Apparently, I’m the “mean” parent for bombarding him with a slew of queries about his impending prom experience. My youngest makes a fleeting appearance at home—if I’m lucky, I get to see him for a glorious 3 to 5 minutes each day, right after practice and before his shower. Given our limited face time, I want to connect. And by “connect,” I mean I want answers to my burning questions.
Our conversations often take place over dinner, where I scramble to ask the right things in the few moments I have before he disappears again. It feels like a shot clock in basketball; I often take risky shots and end up missing the mark. Weeks in advance, I gingerly sprinkle in my inquiries to figure out the who, what, where, and when of this traditional event. Here are some of the invasive questions (with a few demands thrown in) I dared to ask about the prom:
- So, are you going to prom?
- Do you even want to go?
- Did you ask your girlfriend yet?
- Are you going to ask her?
- How do you plan to ask her?
- What’s the dress code—tuxedos or suits?
- Did she say yes?
- Are you going to take her to the prom?
- Is anyone hosting pre-prom parties?
- When can you buy your tickets?
- Can you walk the dog?
- What are your plans for prom night?
- Have you asked her yet?
- I don’t want to hear about your plans from Jake’s mom. Can you give me a hint?
- How are you getting there?
- Should we order a corsage?
- Did you feed the dog?
- What about pre-prom pictures? Want to do them at home?
- Who are your friends taking?
- Who are your friends?
- Do you have friends?
- Who’s bringing the drinks? Just so you know, we have a breathalyzer.
- Does anyone have a date?
- Want your friends to come over after?
- Did you feed the dog?
- What’s the post-prom plan? We need to discuss that.
- Just so you know, “bonfire” is code for trouble—especially when it involves beer and other risky behavior.
- What’s your plan for after prom?
- No sleepovers. Not happening.
- Is she officially your girlfriend?
- Do her parents know about you? Are you polite to them? Do they like you?
- No sleepovers, got it?
- You will have a curfew. How late do you think you’ll be out?
- Are you wearing a suit or a tux?
- Will you ever walk this dog?
- What color is her dress?
- Just so you know, red Solo cups can get you kicked off the team—doesn’t matter what’s inside.
- Where exactly are you going? Who’s going with you? Can we tag along?
- Are her parents going to be home?
- Who’s going to be there?
- How long will you stay at the prom?
- How are your grades? Quarter ends soon—am I going to be happy with your report card?
- Have you bought your ticket yet? Need a loan?
- Did you feed the dog?
- You need to dance! You’re a great dancer.
- Want to invite friends over for hair and makeup?
- Do you want to invite her family over for pictures?
- Should we rent you a tux?
- Remember when you begged for a dog? Will you walk him?
- Would you like Dad and me to drive you? It could be fun!
What did I uncover? Not much. His responses usually consist of grunts, shoulder shrugs, and the infamous eye roll. I’m pretty sure there were times he thought, “MY PARENTS ARE SUCH A PAIN.”
Despite his stonewalling tactics, I managed to gather a few key details: He does, in fact, have a girlfriend, and she’ll be his date. We’ve met her briefly, and she seems wonderful—smart, funny, and charming. He asked her in a creative way (thank you for skipping the extravagant promposal nonsense).
A group of friends is renting a school bus for the ride, and they plan to take pre-prom pictures at someone’s house—an event that I’m definitely planning to crash. His lacrosse coach is enforcing a midnight curfew, so I can breathe a little easier knowing there’s some oversight.
Prom season is a whirlwind of excitement and anxiety, a rite of passage for teens everywhere. While secrets abound, it’s a parent’s duty to stay involved, ask questions, and ensure their kids navigate this pivotal moment safely. Here’s hoping the memories made are worth sharing but not the kind that land on the police blotter.
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Summary
Navigating prom season can feel like a top-secret mission for both teens and parents. With limited communication and a slew of questions, parents strive to stay involved and ensure their kids have a memorable yet safe experience. It’s a balancing act that all parents can relate to as they guide their teens through this rite of passage.