The challenges of preparing meals for a family of five are all too real for any parent. No mother relishes the feeling of being a short-order cook, and no parent enjoys the ordeal of catering to picky eaters. But let me tell you, my experience navigating the kitchen feels like paddling across a vast ocean in a tiny canoe, with my family on board, armed with just one paddle and no escape from the endless whining.
I know it sounds like I’m exaggerating my plight, but I assure you, this isn’t just typical mom venting (though I do indulge in that from time to time). My frustrations stem from years of cooking for little ones with food allergies, adults with dietary restrictions, and the whimsical demands of elimination diets while breastfeeding three kids, not to mention toddlers who will devour casseroles but refuse to eat plain pasta simply because it has green flecks in it—what they call basil.
While my kids are the center of my world, meal times have become a monumental challenge. My two boys faced extreme food intolerances during their early years, having a condition called Food-Protein Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome (FPIES). While they have thankfully outgrown it, my journey has been complicated by my own gluten intolerance, my husband’s aversion to chicken, and, most recently, my youngest being diagnosed with lactose intolerance.
It’s honestly exhausting. While you might be dealing with one picky eater, I’m juggling a multitude of dietary preferences over here. Sure, cereal is a viable dinner option, and we often take that route, but I can’t quite bring myself to give up on the idea of a family meal. I find myself cooking dinner almost every night, planning meals, grocery shopping weekly, and feeling like a magician trying to create something that pleases everyone.
I feel a deep responsibility to ensure my kids develop a healthy relationship with food, but catering to their various tastes and sensitivities can be overwhelming. Despite the plethora of allergen-free recipes available on Pinterest, I often find myself too drained to grind my own gluten-free flour or whip up homemade mayonnaise. There are nights when one family member can’t partake in dinner, leaving me feeling defeated, especially since cooking a second meal is a disheartening thought. When you have a child with food issues, you don’t have the luxury of saying, “Just eat what I made.” And telling them to “go ahead and starve” seems like terrible parenting when they’re already missing out on so many foods that other kids enjoy.
So, I whip up a sandwich, or I prepare myself a salad (again), and we somehow get through each day. Often, I find myself fantasizing about living on a deserted island where no one expects me to cook, where I could just enjoy fresh fruit without anyone gagging or asking for a snack right after dinner.
You would think that asking everyone to simply eat would be a reasonable request, right? Just pick up the spoon and put food in your mouth. Instead, there are endless negotiations and special requests to navigate. We end up picking out foods they can’t have, or someone opts for a sandwich later. I want my family to be content and healthy, but it feels like an act of Congress just to achieve that at dinner time.
Public outings often lead to awkward explanations about our dietary restrictions. I find myself saying things like, “Don’t mind us; we’ll just wait until we get home to eat,” or “It’s fine; we brought our own food.” It’s not our fault we’ve ended up in this situation, and while it could be worse, living this way every single day is draining.
The weight of preparing dairy-free, gluten-free, chicken-and-beef-free meals that are kid-friendly can make me consider hiring a personal chef—if only I could afford one, as gluten-free flour and dairy-free ice cream don’t come cheap.
For now, I pack meals for outings when I’m uncertain about available options, and I prepare backup meals for family members who can’t partake in what I’ve cooked. I try not to overspend at places like Whole Foods, where the aisles of allergen-free products can be both tempting and costly.
One day, I hope to cook for just two again. I just wish that by then, I can look back on this hectic time fondly, without the stress of fulfilling gluten-free, dairy-free, meat-free, and green-fleck-free demands every night. Until then, I’ll settle for a simple bowl of cereal for dinner, without having to remind anyone to use a napkin.
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Summary
Cooking for a family with food allergies can be a daily struggle. The author shares her experiences of preparing meals for her children with various dietary restrictions, highlighting the challenges of balancing picky eaters, food intolerances, and the desire for family meals. She reflects on the exhausting nature of meal planning, public outings, and the relentless quest for solutions that satisfy everyone’s needs.