As a parent, I often find myself in a whirlwind of emotions as I watch my son, Alex, navigate his childhood. At just 10 years old, he has always been the kind of kid who prefers to think things through rather than act impulsively. Instead of leaping off high surfaces, he assesses the height, the distance, and then makes a decision that reflects his thoughtful nature.
Alex is gentle and introspective. He shares my emotional moments during movies, often tearing up at the same scenes. He’s always been open with me, discussing his feelings and worries, seeking solutions together with his father and me. It’s clear that I’ve been fortunate to have such a sweet boy, especially since his younger sister seems determined to test every boundary we set.
But as I look ahead, I can’t shake off the anxiety about what’s coming. He’s approaching 11, and then 12 will follow, bringing with it the onset of puberty and the flood of hormones like testosterone. The thought terrifies me.
Recently, I’ve witnessed flashes of what’s to come. Little moments of frustration erupt when he believes something is unfair, such as cleaning his room. At a recent climbing class, Alex suddenly began shouting encouragement to a friend with an intensity that startled me. It was as if he was caught in a whirlwind of energy he could hardly contain. When I asked him about it later, he described the experience as “crazy but kinda fun”—a clear tell of the hormonal changes on the horizon.
What frightens me most is the possibility that puberty will alter the sweet, curious child I’ve come to adore. The thought of shy smiles transforming into sullen looks when I inquire about his day, or his comforting hugs evolving into avoidance, fills me with dread. I’m not ready for the boyish face to grow squarer, or for the innocent appetite to turn into a ravenous teenager consuming everything in sight. The shift from open conversations to quiet retreats behind closed doors makes me uneasy.
And let’s not even discuss the inevitable changes in interests—those magazines and other things I might find stashed away in his room. Those are so far removed from who he is now, and the idea of losing that connection makes me apprehensive.
I understand that change is a crucial part of growing up. It’s natural and necessary for Alex to start seeking independence and forging his own identity. I’ll celebrate his achievements and his newfound confidence, even as I adjust to the sight of him towering over me, which will feel both thrilling and strange.
For now, I hold him a little closer, cherishing those soft cheeks and listening intently to his still youthful voice. I encourage his playful chatter and off-key singing, fully aware that these moments are fleeting. I want to memorize every smile and laugh to remember for the days ahead, when he might only respond with grunts and requests for cash. I’m going to hold on while I still can.
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In summary, the impending changes of puberty ignite a mix of fear and reflection as I prepare for the evolution of my son from boyhood to adolescence. While I know I must embrace this transition, I can’t help but wish to hold on to the essence of the child I love so dearly.