Listen up, friends. After attending my fair share of baby showers — some even for myself — I have a straightforward request: can we please put an end to these exasperating baby shower games? Seriously, they’re the worst.
Let’s be honest, nobody wants to guess the flavor of melted candy bars in a diaper. Really, NOBODY. The idea that it’s cute to poke fun at the new mom’s soon-to-be messy reality is misguided. Sure, it might seem funny to joke about the myriad of textures she’ll be dealing with once her little one arrives, but in reality, it’s not even a little amusing. Between my three kids, two dogs, and myself, I already have my hands full managing my own messes at home. I certainly don’t want to come to a celebration to play in more of it.
And those baby trivia games? No thanks. I have zero interest in guessing how many diapers a baby goes through in a year or the staggering costs of raising a child in this day and age. I did not come here to take a quiz, nor do I want to be reminded of all the financial sacrifices I’ll be making.
Let’s talk about guessing the size of the expectant mother’s belly. She’s not a contestant in a betting ring, and this is not a Vegas event. IT’S BIG, we all know that. She doesn’t need another reminder of how she looks right now.
And please, spare me the baby food guessing game. I can barely stomach that stuff when I’m serving it to my own kids, let alone trying to identify flavors at someone else’s gathering. I didn’t bribe a babysitter just to feel queasy at a baby shower!
Oh, and if you’re thinking of asking me how well I know the mom-to-be, let me save you the trouble: not well at all. I’m likely here because she’s my husband’s distant relative, and trust me, I didn’t have a choice in the matter. So as for her eye color, birth date, or any other milestones — I HAVE NO CLUE. I can barely keep track of my own life!
And if you think I’m going to pin another sperm on an egg, you must be joking. This is not a game anyone enjoys, so let’s just stop pretending. Even you, the hostess, know deep down that it’s not fun. (But if you insist on using that sing-song voice one more time? Well, let’s just say all bets are off.)
What would truly make a baby shower enjoyable? Just serve us some delicious food and drinks, and let us compliment each other. Or simply provide the food and drinks — that’s more than enough!
Let’s allow the poor mom-to-be to indulge in some treats, unwrap gifts, and get home as quickly as possible. She has support hose to remove, a bathroom trip to tackle, and cankles to elevate.
For the love of all that is sacred, please!
In summary, it’s time to ditch the dreadful games at baby showers. Let’s focus on what really matters: celebrating the mom-to-be with good food, drinks, and genuine enjoyment.
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