When my daughters were little, their constant “Why?” questions were utterly charming. From “Why is the sky blue?” to “Why do dogs sniff each other’s butts?”—each inquiry brought a smile to my face. But as they transitioned into their tween years, the nature of their questions shifted dramatically, often testing my patience.
“Why can’t I have my own phone?” they would ask, or “Why do I have to turn off the TV?” Suddenly, these questions felt like challenges rather than invitations for dialogue. Frustrated, I often found myself wanting to respond with, “Because I said so!” but I knew that wasn’t the right approach.
While I could easily dismiss their inquiries, I began to reflect: is this the kind of mindset I want to instill in my daughters? Do I really want them to be the type of young women who remain silent and compliant, never questioning authority—even when that authority is me?
Life will inevitably present my daughters with challenging situations, and I want them to have the confidence to question requests that make them uncomfortable, whether they come from friends, partners, or even bosses. I want them to feel empowered to ask “Why?” and know that they deserve answers. This belief extends to the way they interact with me as well. I don’t want them to feel pressured to comply without understanding the reasoning behind my decisions.
Of course, this parenting philosophy can make my job more challenging. It’s so much easier when they simply follow my commands without questioning them. However, I would much rather invest time in providing thoughtful explanations and nurturing a relationship built on mutual respect, understanding, and teamwork. This approach encourages my daughters to feel inclined to agree with my requests out of respect rather than fear.
I’d prefer they express dissent, even when it frustrates me, rather than feel powerless or voiceless. My goal is to raise strong girls who advocate for themselves, even if that means they practice this assertiveness with me.
So, instead of viewing their questions as defiance, I’ve started to see them as a sign of growth. When they ask, “Why do I have to wash my hair?” I might feel a twinge of annoyance, yet I also feel a sense of pride. I want them to stand firm for what they believe in, just as I strive to do the same.
This questioning may seem like rebellion now, but I trust that it will blossom into critical thinking, self-advocacy, and the unshakeable confidence they will need as they navigate the world. Why is this important? Because I wish I had started asking these questions much earlier in life, and I don’t want my daughters to miss out on that journey.
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In summary, encouraging our daughters to ask “Why?” helps cultivate their critical thinking skills and nurtures their self-advocacy. While it may require extra effort on our part as parents, the long-term benefits of raising confident and inquisitive young women far outweigh the temporary frustrations we may face.