I still remember the day my son was labeled a “crybaby” by one of his peers. To be honest, it didn’t catch me off guard. He definitely wears his emotions on his sleeve—just like I do. I’ve been known to shed tears at the drop of a hat, whether I’m feeling angry, sad, or even overly joyful (thanks to three kids, let’s just say I’ve had my share of embarrassing moments). So, it’s no surprise that my son expresses himself through tears, too.
However, having a child who cries frequently can be challenging for parents. It can make you feel powerless while your child wrestles with overwhelming emotions. If you’ve got a sensitive child, you know it’s nearly impossible to stop the tears once they start flowing.
I find that my own empathy towards crying stems from my personal experiences—crying has always been my go-to emotional release. But when my son cries, I often feel protective. When that child called him a crybaby, my instinct was to defend him fiercely and tell that kid to be quiet. Who cares about societal norms suggesting boys shouldn’t cry?
I’ve made it a priority to ensure my son understands that expressing emotions is not bound by gender. Rather than labeling him a crybaby, I embrace his sensitivity and uniqueness. While it can be frustrating at times, I genuinely appreciate having a compassionate boy. Yes, there are moments when his tears seem to take over our lives, triggered by the smallest of things.
It’s essential for me that my son feels safe expressing his emotions. If crying is how he processes what he feels, then I’m all for it. After all, emotions know no gender; we all experience anger, sadness, confusion, and frustration, and we each have our own ways of expressing those feelings.
I don’t know about you, but after a good cry, I often feel a sense of relief. That said, I believe there are healthier ways to convey emotions in specific situations. Here are some strategies we use when the tears begin to flow.
Quality Time:
Sometimes, all we need is more time together. It’s easy to want to retreat when the tears start, but often, a little extra snuggling, reading, or one-on-one attention can help my son regain control over his emotions.
Coping Skills:
I’m keen on teaching him healthy coping mechanisms like deep breathing and visualization. It took me years to cultivate these skills for myself, so I want my kids to learn them early. We might practice deep breathing or envision his “happy place” (which for him is playing video games) rather than focusing on whatever is upsetting him.
Stay Positive:
While we don’t tell him to stop crying, I encourage bravery and resilience in challenging situations. This approach empowers him to tackle new experiences without directly addressing the tears. A thumbs up or a small reward when he perseveres can be a great motivator.
Identifying Triggers:
If I can calm him enough to express what’s bothering him, it often helps to talk it through. Understanding the root cause of his emotions can help us find solutions together.
Selective Ignoring:
Sometimes, ignoring the crying can be effective, especially if it’s a strategy to get attention. I remind my son that if he needs to cry, he can do so in his room. Often, a brief moment alone is all he needs to collect himself.
Hugs and Comfort:
More often than not, he just needs a hug. As he grows, I sometimes forget how much he craves that physical reassurance. When he’s feeling down, my presence and a warm embrace can work wonders to soothe him.
Snack Attack:
And if all else fails, I feed him. There are days when a simple snack can turn a hangry meltdown into happiness.
Lastly, after a particularly emotional day, I recommend some quiet time for parents, like binge-watching that show you love on Netflix. Sometimes, we all need a good cry, too.
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In summary, while having a sensitive child can sometimes be overwhelming, embracing their emotions and finding effective coping strategies can create a nurturing environment for both you and your child.