It’s becoming more common for mothers, whether famous or not, to share candid images of their postpartum bodies on social media. However, a seldom-discussed aspect of this experience is what it means to have a postpartum body without a baby to cradle.
Lily Thompson knows this painful reality all too well. In a heartfelt post, she shared a photo of her body after the loss of her child, hoping to provide solace to other mothers facing similar heartaches. Unlike many moms who post about their postpartum journeys, Lily is grappling with the absence of her baby boy.
“I’m 20 pounds heavier and two sizes up from my pre-pregnancy self, and I’m not okay with it,” she expressed. “I think I could’ve accepted these changes if I had my baby with me, but that’s not the case.” In her post, taken just over two months after giving birth, Lily struggles with fluctuating hormones and a body that feels foreign, all while mourning the child she’ll never hold.
“Every day I put on clothes that feel tight, and I’m reminded that I carried my baby for six months, only to lose him,” she shared. “Right now, I don’t feel love for my body. I’m angry with it. It’s hard to embrace body positivity when you’re in this much pain.”
This topic is rarely addressed, yet it’s incredibly important. Pregnancy loss is more common than many realize, with one in three women experiencing a miscarriage, and one percent of pregnancies in the U.S. ending in stillbirth. Further, there are medically necessary terminations due to health risks for the mother or severe fetal anomalies. Women navigating these losses are in mourning, facing a stigmatized existence that compounds their grief.
“I’ve never seen anyone discuss their feelings about their postpartum body when they don’t have a baby to hold,” Lily remarked. “Many women express sadness about their size, but it’s a different story when there’s no baby in your arms.”
Dr. Sarah Green, a psychologist specializing in women’s reproductive health, emphasizes that miscarriage and pregnancy loss remain taboo, leading to many aspects of grief—like the postpartum body—being overlooked. “It’s bewildering how much we ignore the depth of this experience,” she noted.
Without open conversations, mothers may feel isolated in their grief, lacking the support they need while dealing with the emotional and hormonal aftermath of their loss. “I never expected to have this body without a baby,” Lily said. “I envisioned the joy of having my baby and gradually returning to my pre-pregnancy shape.”
Lily’s journey was filled with challenges. After experiencing complications early in her pregnancy, she discovered her baby had a severe condition requiring extensive care. After careful consideration, she and her husband made the heartbreaking decision to terminate the pregnancy, prioritizing their child’s quality of life.
The healing process has been both emotionally and physically taxing. “I struggle to look at myself in the mirror,” she admitted. Fortunately, her partner remains a pillar of support, constantly reminding her of his love, regardless of her size. “I just wish I could be as kind to myself,” she confessed.
Lily found some healing through sharing her story online, recognizing the importance of acknowledging her struggles. “Every day is a battle, but I believe it’s crucial to share your experiences,” she said.
To honor her child, Lily plans to create a memorial, including a special piece of jewelry made from her breast milk and a family tree-planting ceremony to commemorate her son.
For mothers navigating similar paths, Lily offers a simple yet profound piece of advice: “Allow yourself to feel and give yourself grace.”
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In summary, Lily Thompson’s story sheds light on the often-overlooked struggles of mothers who experience pregnancy loss, especially regarding the emotional complexities of a postpartum body without a baby. By sharing her experience, she encourages other women to embrace their feelings and find healing in their journeys.