Every year, three times like clockwork—once in fall, again in spring, and then at the end of the school year—my children bring home a hefty manila envelope packed with their report cards. It’s the one time I actually sift through their backpacks, and I dive into that envelope with a mix of anticipation and urgency, often ignoring the minor paper cuts that come with it. As I flip through the pages, my focus zeroes in on the back where the teacher shares personal insights about my children. This is the information that truly matters to me.
I’m not concerned with letter grades; instead, I’m more invested in understanding the individuals my kids are evolving into. My eldest son is now in fourth grade, and during parent-teacher conferences, my husband and I often find ourselves dissecting their academic performance. But honestly, I’m more interested in what kind of friends they are and how they treat those around them. Are they supportive? Do they invite new classmates into their games? Do they celebrate others’ successes? Those are the qualities that resonate with me far more than any “A” on a report card.
Of course, I want my children to perform well academically. I want to be aware if they’re facing challenges so that we—a team made up of my husband, my child, and their teacher—can put in the effort to provide the necessary support. I do value the importance of hard work, and I want my children to grasp the essentials of math, language, and science. But while grades and test scores serve as markers, they don’t tell the complete story.
Even if they did, my priorities lie elsewhere. I care deeply about raising compassionate, empathetic, and helpful individuals. It’s not about the grades; it’s about the humans they’re becoming. Call me unconventional, but I don’t spend my evenings drilling math facts or obsessively monitoring reading logs. Instead, when they come home from school, I ask, “Who did you show kindness to today?” and “Who was kind to you?” These are the conversations that matter. Did they make a friend smile? Did they brighten someone’s day? Those are the benchmarks of a good human, not just a good student.
I have no desire for my kids to lag behind academically, and if they do, I want to know so we can help them get back on track. But I’m perfectly okay if they fall into the “average” range regarding grades and standardized tests. What truly matters to me are the traits that foster friendship, teamwork, and generosity—these are the areas where I want them to excel.
Before my oldest started first grade, I penned him a letter containing three important insights. First, I shared that superheroes exist not just in storybooks but also in the form of the dedicated teachers who guide them each day. Second, I reminded him that when challenges arise—and they will—taking a few deep breaths can make everything feel a bit more manageable. But the most vital secret I imparted? “You are the magic,” I wrote. “Just be the best version of yourself.”
When my son embodies kindness and bravery, he can sprinkle that magic around him, as can we all. Sure, I want them to study and perform well academically, but what I truly care about is whether they’re spreading kindness, friendship, and generosity in their classrooms and beyond. If they’re doing that, then they’ve secured a place on the highest honor roll in my eyes.
For more insightful parenting tips and experiences, check out this post on our blog here. And if you’re interested in at-home insemination solutions, visit Make A Mom for reliable products. Additionally, for a deeper understanding of home insemination methods, this Healthline article offers excellent resources.
In summary, while I want my children to succeed academically, my primary focus is on nurturing their character and kindness. It’s not just about grades; it’s about becoming good human beings.