“I have no idea what I’m doing.” Those infamous beauty tutorial videos on YouTube! You know the ones—stunning women effortlessly applying makeup while smiling, expertly wielding each product like it’s a magic wand. They make it look so easy, but for the rest of us, it’s a different story altogether. Fortunately, there’s a makeup tutorial that speaks to our reality, and it’s guaranteed to make you chuckle.
Meet Chloe Adams, a comedian and radio host from Australia, who shared a video titled “Realistic Makeup Tutorial.” And trust me, it’s as relatable as it gets.
While traditional makeup tutorials feature beauty gurus who speak in a language only they understand, Chloe sounds like one of us—moms who haven’t updated their makeup kit since the last presidential election. She kicks things off by applying primer, which she acknowledges is important—right? Maybe? Who really knows? She acquired her MAC primer “against her will” from an intimidating saleswoman. “She looked too good, and I felt pressured to buy it,” Chloe confesses.
This is exactly why I do 90% of my makeup shopping online.
As she applies primer with “a brush that lost its label ages ago, probably since 2002,” she jokes about how it has never seen a washing. And honestly, who has time to wash their brushes when there are more pressing matters? I can barely manage to wash my own hair!
“Wow, this magnifying mirror is revealing too much about my face,” Chloe quips, hastily finishing the primer application and declaring the result “heaven.” After admitting she doesn’t really know what primer does but continues to use it because it was pricey, she moves on to foundation. Her method for choosing a shade? It’s very scientific.
“I either reach for this Maybelline Fit Me or this MAC Studio Fix Fluid, depending on whether I’m tanned.” Clearly not tanned today, she grabs the Maybelline and says, “I’ll go with this stuff.”
Next, Chloe faces a common dilemma that nobody discusses in makeup tutorials—how foundation highlights facial hair. “Oh great, I’ve got a bit of a ‘mo’ going on now,” she laughs. Been there, done that, girl!
Then it’s brow time. Chloe picks up a small brush from a brand called Pony and refers to it as a “pink thing” because, let’s be honest, who keeps track of all these brush names? Her brow gel is also simply a “thing” from Pony. Whatever works, right?
After making a slight error while filling in her brow, she attempts to fix it with the brush, saying, “I’m not sure if that’s right, but I really don’t care.” Finally, someone else who embraces the “Good Enough” mentality when it comes to makeup!
Chloe bravely tackles contouring, admitting she has no clue what she’s doing and just gives it a go. She explains that the contouring is meant to create the illusion of a single chin, and if that’s a possibility, someone please sign me up for that class!
Eyes are next, featuring a “brown tone” eyeshadow applied with yet another unwashed brush, which apparently still has remnants from a “slutty eye” look she did for a recent event. After taking a long look in the mirror, she says, “You know what? That’ll do.” My entire approach to beauty in a single sentence!
Chloe tries to blend the eyeshadow while whispering, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” and she’s absolutely not alone in that sentiment. After applying a mascara she estimates to be about six years old (“Yikes, it’s clumpy!”), she finishes with a lip pencil topped off with some old chapstick. And voilà, she declares her look complete. “My eyebrows don’t look fabulous, and I can’t see out of my right eye due to the mascara,” she adds with a grin.
Despite the comical mishaps, she ends on a positive note: “Anyone can wear makeup, just give it a go!” Sure, as long as we can all have a good laugh at her tutorial while using our decade-old brushes and questionable mascara.
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In summary, Chloe Adams’ tutorial is a hilarious reminder that we’re all just trying to navigate the world of makeup, often without any clear direction. So let’s embrace the chaos and have some fun along the way!