The summer countdown is officially on—just nine days until vacation begins at my house. But instead of an excited “Nine days until Christmas” vibe, it feels more like “Nine days until I endure three root canals in a row.” And let’s be real, “vacation” is hardly the right term for what’s about to unfold.
In an ideal universe, my kids and I would spend our summer days basking in sunshine, indulging in ice cream, and working together to cultivate the juiciest watermelons in our backyard garden. However, reality is far less picturesque.
My children thrive on structure. Open-ended time leads to chaos, tears, and a general sense of misery all around. Sure, I try to mitigate the madness by enrolling them in a slew of summer activities, but with their age differences, finding something that suits all three is nearly impossible. Consequently, my days turn into a frantic shuffle of drop-offs and pick-ups, with my kids resentful of the entire ordeal. “I don’t want to go to his class, Mom! Why can’t I do something fun? It’s not fair!”
Let’s not even get started on the expense of these activities. Seriously, for the cost of one week of toddler gymnastics, you could feed a small village. And there’s no guarantee your kid will learn anything useful, either. “What am I paying you for? He’s just rolling around on the floor. That’s hardly impressive.”
We’ve already shelled out a small fortune on swimming lessons for the girls. My six-year-old is still in the beginner class, struggling to blow bubbles while terrified of anything deeper than ankle-high water. She never advances, yet we keep paying for those lessons because, at least, it gives us a reason to leave the house.
Then there’s the beach—free and loved by the kids, but for me? Ugh. The preparation takes longer than the actual time we spend there. The sunscreen application alone feels like an Olympic event. Don’t even get me started on the snacks, drinks, toys, and all the other unnecessary junk that has to accompany us. I’m not an octopus! With only two arms, it’s impossible to juggle everything while also keeping my three-year-old from playing dodgeball with parked cars.
And the sand? I can’t stand it. It gets everywhere—inside the van, the house, under the sheets, behind ears, and even in the silverware drawer. I have recurring nightmares of being buried in sand, unable to move or speak while my kids stand over me, dripping popsicles into my eye like some form of torture. I wake up in a panic, realizing that it’s not a dream after all. “Can I at least get some goddamn Visine?”
I wish I were the kind of mom who loved crafts and art projects. If I were, summers could be filled with birdhouse-building, paper mache, fairy gardens, and endless creativity. Unfortunately for my kids, I’m the complete opposite.
I know for sure that my attempts to create a normal summer schedule will fail, leaving us with the same complaints on repeat: “Why can’t we get a pool, Mom?” “I’m bored.” “I’m hungry.” “Why do I always have to pick up sticks? I can’t live like this!” “Buddy’s eating dirt again, Mom.” “I’m NOT going outside because I saw a bee!” “This is NOT fun!” “This is the worst…summer…ever.”
And yet, here we are—87 days until school starts, give or take. But who’s counting?
For more on navigating the ups and downs of summer, check out this post on 10 Ways to Give Your Kid a 1970’s Kind of Summer. If you’re considering at-home insemination, resources like Kindbody provide excellent information. And if you need supplies, Make A Mom has reputable at-home insemination kits to get you started.
Summary
As summer vacation approaches, many parents feel a mix of anticipation and dread. The challenges of keeping kids entertained and engaged can lead to chaos and frustration. With a busy schedule filled with activities, unexpected costs, and the reality of family outings, the ideal summer bliss often falls short. But amidst the struggles, we find ways to cope and seek help from various resources for parenting and home insemination.
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