Maintaining my 3-year-old son’s hair feels like a daunting task. With his beautifully curly locks that sometimes kink up unexpectedly, daily brushing is essential—but let’s be real, it often ends up being more of a weekly battle. He absolutely despises having his hair brushed, and I don’t have the energy to turn it into a daily wrestling match, especially during the colder months when he can just wear a hat. And let’s be honest, he looks adorable with his tousled bedhead.
His first haircut happened at 2 ½ years old. Until around 18 months, he had very little hair, but then, out of nowhere, this wild mop appeared. I tried to hold off on the haircut because I loved the idea of him having long hair. At that time, his hair was mostly straight with a bit of curl at the ends, but the straight sections would get stringy and knot easily. Eventually, I couldn’t take the constant struggle of detangling the knots while he screamed in agony, so I scheduled his first haircut.
Finding the right place was a challenge. My friend kept urging me to just go to a barbershop, but I knew I needed someone skilled in working with mixed hair since his dad is white and I’m Black. His hair is soft, a mix of straight and curly, and I needed someone who could handle it with care. Plus, I wanted a kid-friendly environment that could accommodate a squirmy child.
After some research, I discovered a children’s salon in New York City’s West Village that seemed perfect. With charming salon chairs shaped like cars and boats, plus DVD players at each station for kids to watch their favorite movies, it looked promising. They even blew bubbles to keep kids entertained during haircuts—bubbles! My son loves them, so I was sold.
Of course, he cried throughout the haircut. The stylist was incredibly patient, guiding me on how to hold him while her assistant blew bubbles and played Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the TV—definitely sensory overload. He cried even harder when I attempted to capture the moment with a video for his dad and some pictures for social media. Everyone warned me that once I started cutting his hair, I’d be in for regular maintenance, but I asked the stylist to shape it in a way that would look good as it grew out. I didn’t want to make this a frequent ordeal.
Most of the maintenance happens at bath time, making it easier to detangle when his hair is wet. Unfortunately, by the time we get to washing and conditioning, he’s already in a foul mood because I interrupted his playtime. He screams and cries as if I’m torturing him during the shampooing process. Adding conditioner and combing through the tangles brings on a fresh wave of tears.
For a long time, I relied on a wide-tooth comb, which worked but took too long with a screaming toddler. Now, I use the Wet Brush, which is a lifesaver. He still screams while I work out the tangles and rinse, and there’s more screaming when I apply leave-in conditioner—but these products are essential. Thankfully, his hair is soft and generally manageable with regular conditioning. I remember my own coarse hair and how my mom would tell me I screamed like a banshee whenever she tried to comb it. It seems I’ve gotten my comeuppance.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned in caring for my mixed child’s hair is that hair products are my allies. It takes time and experimentation to find the right ones that work well. I quickly discovered that regular baby shampoo wasn’t effective. His hair doesn’t get too greasy or dry, so I can afford to wash it less frequently. Thank goodness for leave-in conditioner; it’s a game changer!
I hope that one day he’ll outgrow the need for dramatic meltdowns during hair care, but I know that day is still far off. For now, I’ll continue to navigate this journey until he’s old enough to manage his own hair. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination options, check out this informative post here, and for those looking for at-home insemination kits, Make a Mom is a trusted source.
In summary, caring for my mixed child’s hair can be a challenging experience, filled with tantrums and trial-and-error. However, with the right products and a bit of patience, I’m learning to navigate this journey one detangle at a time.