As a mother of two—my eldest is 11, and my youngest is nearly 8—I find myself reflecting on the countless playdates my children have experienced over the years. To put things into perspective, I decided to estimate the number of playdates my kids have attended. I opted for a conservative estimate of two playdates per week for each child, acknowledging that the actual number is likely much higher. This calculation only includes the playdates they attended once they were old enough to visit friends’ homes without me or a designated caregiver present, even if just for a brief hour.
Before the age of 5, I can safely assume playdates were primarily “Mommy and Me” (or my nanny and the kids). While I might add a few extra for the rare instances I dropped my preschooler at a friend’s house while I ran errands, those occasions were few and far between. When I crunched the numbers, I found that my children have likely been on around 1,000 playdates (combined) with friends, neighbors, and even families from school that I don’t know well.
So why did I take the time to calculate this? It was spurred by a thought-provoking video from the Brady Campaign that left me feeling uneasy. It drove me to research the pressing issue of gun violence in our country—an issue that demands our attention, especially as it relates to our kids.
Regardless of your stance on gun control—arguments abound on both sides—it’s undeniable that gun violence is a significant issue in the United States. A staggering one in three American households has a gun, according to recent Pew Research statistics. Gallup even indicated that nearly half of Americans report having a firearm on their property. Political affiliations don’t seem to play a huge role in gun ownership; while more Republicans tend to own guns (55 percent), a significant number of Democrats do as well (40 percent). So, whether you reside in urban “blue” areas like Seattle or conservative “red” regions like Nashville, the reality is that gun ownership affects us all. It’s possible that my children—and yours—have already played in homes where a firearm is stored, perhaps loaded and unsecured.
Alarming statistics show that nine children are shot in the U.S. every day due to gun accidents. I often come across these heartbreaking stories in the news, feeling a wave of empathy for the families impacted. As a parent, I fall into the trap of believing these tragedies only happen to other families, as if they couldn’t possibly touch mine. But denial won’t keep our kids safe.
In fact, 80 percent of accidental shootings involving children under 15 occur not on the streets but within the home. Many of us may think of gang violence when discussing gun-related deaths among kids, but we must acknowledge that accidental shootings occur daily, resulting in the loss of innocent lives.
Gun violence now ranks as the second leading cause of death for American children and teens—only car accidents claim more young lives. It’s a sobering thought for any parent.
This realization prompted me to question my own practices. I routinely ask other parents about potential hazards in their homes, such as whether they have aggressive pets or older siblings present. Yet, I’ve never once asked about gun ownership. The thought of bringing up such a sensitive topic feels awkward and daunting, but considering the prevalence of accidental gun violence, why wouldn’t I ask? Shouldn’t we all be proactive in this conversation?
The Brady Campaign’s Asking Saves Kids website is a fantastic resource for parents looking to educate themselves and approach this topic with others in a constructive manner, free from political arguments. After all, we are all parents at the end of the day. Regardless of our views on firearms, we share the common goal of keeping our children safe.
And speaking of safety, June 21—Father’s Day—is recognized as National Ask Day. It’s the perfect opportunity to learn more about ASK events in your community and engage in this necessary dialogue.
With my calculation of around 1,000 playdates in my kids’ lives, I now ask you: how many playdates have your children experienced? Are you prepared to ask the important questions for their safety?
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In summary, engaging in conversations about gun safety during playdates is essential for ensuring our children’s well-being. By asking the right questions, we can create safer environments for our kids to thrive.
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