Five years ago, I welcomed my baby boy into the world, and I was filled with curiosity and a fair share of anxiety about what motherhood would entail. My husband and I were total novices in the parenting department, having never changed a diaper or fed a newborn. Let’s be real, we couldn’t even keep a cactus alive, and they’re practically self-sufficient!
Much to our surprise, parenting wasn’t the daunting task we envisioned. Our firstborn was an easygoing baby who nursed and took bottles without fuss, slept through the night by six weeks, and rarely cried—he was practically independent (well, almost). So, we thought, what’s all the fuss about?
Fast forward to welcoming our second child, and everything changed. Enter the “velcro baby.” If you’re unfamiliar with this term, it refers to a baby who clings to you like, well, Velcro. Remove them from your grasp, and prepare for a symphony of wails that could wake the neighbors. A velcro baby thrives in your arms, seeking comfort and closeness at all times.
It sounds sweet, and it often is, but there are moments when you just need to take a quick shower or use the restroom. A velcro baby wants your constant presence; they want to be held during meals, napping, playing, and even during diaper changes. If you’re blessed with this delightful challenge, here are some survival strategies.
1. Wear Your Baby
Invest in a Baby Bjorn, Moby wrap, or any baby carrier because these are lifesavers. You’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish while keeping your little one snug against you. Whether you’re cooking, folding laundry, or attempting to apply makeup (who are we kidding?), you’ll find that wearing your baby helps you get things done. Plus, you’ll be toning your arms and core in the process—who needs a gym membership when you’ve got a baby?
2. Seek Help
It’s unrealistic to expect that you can pause your entire life to cater to your baby’s every need. We all have responsibilities, like jobs or caring for other children. Finding help is crucial. Whether it’s your mother-in-law, a babysitter, or even a friendly stranger who offers to watch the baby, don’t hesitate to accept assistance. In my case, I enrolled my baby in a Mother’s Day Out program twice a week, which has been a game-changer for my family and my sanity. It gives me some much-needed breathing room and allows my little one to socialize, which is essential for her development.
3. Let Them Cry It Out
This can be the hardest pill to swallow, but sometimes letting your baby cry is necessary. Babies cry; it’s part of their communication. If your velcro baby is particularly vocal, you might need to learn to tune it out. Consider investing in earplugs or a soothing sound machine. Research suggests that it’s actually beneficial for babies to cry occasionally. Remember, our parents did it, and we turned out just fine—most of us, anyway!
4. Develop a Transfer Strategy
Transferring your baby from your arms to the crib can feel like a high-stakes mission. Establish a routine: change the diaper, dim the lights, and dress them in their sleep clothes before the final feeding. Afterward, enlist your partner’s help to facilitate the transfer. Sneaking away like ninjas might seem dramatic, but it’s crucial for your sleep—because let’s face it, they can’t sleep on you forever!
5. Engage in Outings Together
Getting out of the house can be beneficial for both you and your velcro baby. Look for classes or activities where you can hold your baby while interacting with others. This not only allows your baby to socialize but also gives you a chance to connect with adults. I’ve found myself attending more social gatherings, and it turns out, people love to hold the baby. It’s a win-win: they get their baby fix, and you get a moment to sip on your margarita in peace!
While it can be challenging to maintain your sanity when your baby feels like a permanent attachment, remember, this phase is temporary. With my first child, I was so focused on chores and tasks that I missed out on precious moments. Being forced to hold my newborn taught me to slow down and appreciate the little things. After all, who needs spotless dishes and perfectly folded laundry?
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In summary, embracing life with a velcro baby requires a mix of adaptability and self-care. Wearing your baby, seeking help, allowing some crying, having a transfer strategy, and getting out for activities can make all the difference. Cherish this fleeting season of motherhood and soak in all the snuggles while you can.