Finally, a group of international researchers in business and social sciences has confirmed what many overwhelmed mothers already suspected: Swearing might actually indicate honesty! Can I get an A-freaking-men?!
In their two-part study, researchers found that individuals who frequently use profanity are often better at expressing their emotions. The findings suggest a direct correlation between swearing and honesty; the more a person curses, the more likely they are to be genuine. “The consistent findings across the studies suggest that the positive relation between profanity and honesty is robust,” states the report.
I’ve always been one of those moms who gets comments like, “You say what I’m thinking!” and “I love your candidness!” Maybe it’s because, while sharing the brutally honest realities of motherhood, I unintentionally sprinkled in a few F-bombs. My rants about “Nursing is a nightmare!” and “This hurts like hell!” coupled with “My toddler is a total pain in my ass!” likely contributed to those observations. Guess what? I’ve got science backing me up now.
Now entering my 19th year of motherhood, I honestly don’t know how I would’ve survived some of the toughest, most exhausting days without venting my feelings using some colorful language. When you’re trudging through a house filled with kids, feeling like a zombie and thinking, “How did I end up here?” doesn’t it feel more genuine to just exclaim, “How the hell did I end up here?” It absolutely does! So, let your freakin’ flag fly, ladies! After all, honesty is the best policy, right?
I recognize that one consequence of my candid expression—filled with about 45 F-bombs a day—has influenced my four sons, resulting in some rather colorful teenage language. And guess what? I’m totally okay with it.
In fact, I embrace it because, once again, science supports my stance. Research published in the journal Language Sciences indicates that individuals who are proficient in using curse words often possess greater overall language fluency. I can attest to this firsthand; one of my kids never held back when venting about high school challenges—his choice of words could make a sailor blush. Yet, this same kid scored in the 99th percentile on his college entrance exams and had a vocabulary more advanced than his peers from the time he was just 18 months old. It just took a few teenage years for him to let loose with the colorful language.
Of course, I don’t allow my teens to unleash a torrent of expletives at inappropriate times—like during church, at work, or around younger kids. Thankfully, they’ve inherited my knack for using taboo language civilly, knowing when it’s acceptable to express their frustrations out loud and when to keep those thoughts internal.
I’m proud that, in a time when most teenagers retreat into their rooms and keep their feelings bottled up, I’ve fostered an environment where they can express what they’re really thinking without holding back. If the only way they can share that some ridiculous incident occurred at school is to say, “Mom, some crazy stuff happened today,” then I’m all in. Bring on the candid conversations because I’m ready to listen.
Maybe if society embraced a few honest F-bombs, we wouldn’t struggle with “alternative facts” in our news. Now, that’s a news report I wouldn’t want to miss.
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In summary, embracing honest expression—even if it includes a few choice words—might just be the key to fostering open communication in parenting. So go ahead, let those expletives fly; after all, you’re just being real.