“Does it hurt?” my five-year-old asked, her eyes wide with curiosity as I slid a sparkly purple earring into my ear on New Year’s Eve. She had been entranced by those earrings since I first put them on, clutching them in her tiny hands as if they held the key to the mysteries of growing up.
After she asked her question, she hesitantly reached out to touch the hole in my other ear, her face a mix of wonder and apprehension. I could tell that the idea of a metal object piercing through skin was a bit too much for her. Despite her toughness in many areas, she tends to shy away from anything resembling a needle. Her older brother delights in teasing her with exaggerated tales of needles and other sharp objects, which certainly doesn’t help ease her fears during our car rides. Yes, big brothers can be quite the handful!
“It hurt for just a moment,” I reassured her, though I could see that she remained skeptical. Given her fear of needles, I often ponder if she’ll ever choose to pierce her ears. I imagine that once she enters her preteen years, the allure of shiny jewelry will be hard to resist, and she’ll walk into the piercing shop with the same trepidation one might feel when facing an executioner. I plan to ensure they do both ears simultaneously, as I can envision her panicking after the first one—much like her cousin did. (Perhaps that will be a job for her dad!)
It would have been a breeze to have her ears pierced as a baby or toddler. In those early years, she wouldn’t have understood what was happening, and it would all be over in a flash. I could have easily sidestepped the impending drama with my preteen daughter and her anxiety about needles. However, I believe that this decision is about more than just avoiding fuss; it’s about ownership and autonomy.
I wouldn’t dream of getting her a tattoo, shaving her head against her will, or modifying any part of her body without her consent. Therefore, I won’t pierce her ears either. I recognize that cultural practices vary widely, and ear piercing can hold significant meaning for some, but for us, it’s about the choice.
Perhaps the experience of altering one’s body should be daunting, as it allows for growth and courage. I’d rather she remember the moment she faced her fear than have a blank slate of memories from her toddler years.
When I was twelve, I vividly recall the day I got my ears pierced at the mall. The nerves were palpable; they handed me a well-worn bear to hold, which I ironically found both childish and comforting. I remember the piercing gun’s sound and the brief jolt of pain that followed. I also recall the thrill of choosing gold stars, the sensation of twisting the earrings in my ears daily, and the sting of applying antibiotic cream. It was my decision, and I was ready to embrace the whole experience.
I want my children to have the same opportunity. I want them to know, “This is your body, your choice, your pain. You own it all.” I wish for them to recognize that their bodies are not extensions of mine, but rather their own, giving them the power to determine what happens to themselves. The gift of bodily autonomy is far more valuable than any sparkling trinket.
For those interested in related topics, check out this insightful post on intracervicalinsemination.org that delves into choices and experiences in parenting. And if you’re exploring options for at-home insemination, you might find reputable syringe kits at Make A Mom. For more comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, WebMD offers excellent resources.
In summary, I believe that allowing my children to make their own decisions about their bodies, including ear piercing, is vital. It fosters their sense of autonomy and confidence, ensuring they grow up understanding the importance of their choices.