Growing up, I was never the shy type. I often found myself hearing phrases like, “Taylor, quiet down,” “That’s not appropriate,” and “Let’s see how long you can stay silent.” I vividly remember asking my dad’s friend about his “peanut” when I was just three years old. He came over for dinner, expecting a pleasant evening, but instead, he encountered a mini Dr. Ruth in the making. He was mortified; I just wanted to figure out how to put a bra on my Barbie.
With my outgoing nature comes an open personality. I’m unafraid to discuss various topics, including sex. So, when my younger sister casually asked me about a “blow job” during a ride home from the drive-thru, I didn’t hesitate to explain it. We shared a laugh over our sodas, pondering the curious naming of it—why “blow” job if there’s no blowing involved?
Many of us grew up in environments where discussing sex was taboo. This can create a sense of shame and secrecy around a natural part of life. It’s no surprise that many feel physically uncomfortable when the topic arises—squirming, nervous laughter, or even sudden trips to the bathroom are common reactions. Yet, there are those of us who want to explore this topic more openly. We seek answers to our questions, want to enhance our experiences, or simply recognize that feeling sexual is a fundamental aspect of being human, one that deserves no shame.
Some may hesitate to admit their love for sex, unsure about what constitutes a “normal” level of desire. But remember, your preferences are yours alone, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation—unless, of course, you want to share.
If you’re eager to discuss sex more openly, know this: there’s beauty in intimacy, whether shared with a partner or experienced solo. Embracing your desires is a natural inclination, not something scandalous. If you prefer to keep your sex life private, that’s absolutely fine too; I just happen to enjoy candid conversations about everything from my lady bits to my trusty battery-operated boyfriend (BOB). If you want to feel more at ease discussing these topics, consider these tips:
1. Talk to Someone You Trust
Find a friend or partner who is non-judgmental and open about sex. Sharing your thoughts with someone who won’t feel uncomfortable can help ease your own discomfort. Plus, your partner will likely appreciate the chance to discuss what makes you both happy in the bedroom. The more you chat, the easier it becomes.
2. Try Something New
Shake up your routine by introducing a little excitement. Discussing new ideas with your partner can help both of you step out of your comfort zones, making it easier to explore your sexuality. If face-to-face discussions seem daunting, starting the conversation via text can be a comfortable first step.
3. Embrace Your Sexuality
Many women, especially mothers, may feel the need to suppress their desires as they age. It’s essential to recognize that wanting to express your sexuality doesn’t negate your role as a mother or a responsible adult. Remember, discussing and enjoying sex is a vital aspect of self-love and well-being.
4. Treat Yourself to New Lingerie
Investing in beautiful undergarments can be empowering. They don’t have to be overly sexy; just find something that makes you feel good about yourself. When you feel comfortable in your skin, it’s easier to express your desires and share them with someone else. Additionally, exploring oils and toys can enhance your experience and spark new ideas.
5. Let’s Talk Orgasms
Conversations about sex can set the mood, and when you’re in the mood, you’ll want that euphoric release that comes with an orgasm—whether with a partner or solo. Regular orgasms are linked to numerous health benefits, so don’t shy away from talking about what brings you pleasure.
So, get cozy and start the conversation. Sex is an essential topic, and it can be a fun one too! Push through any discomfort; discussing your desires and educating yourself is perfectly normal. You’re not alone in wanting to be more open about this subject.
Looking for more insights? Check out our post on intracervical insemination for additional information. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers reputable kits to assist you. For those thinking about fertility treatments, March of Dimes provides excellent resources to help you on your journey.
Summary: Embracing open conversations about sex is vital for self-acceptance and well-being. With the right mindset and a few tips, you can feel more confident discussing your desires, whether with a partner or friends.