In my early twenties, a therapist proposed that my various life challenges might stem from Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). This revelation caught me off guard, as I had never considered myself someone who struggled to focus.
“I genuinely believe you have ADD. It explains why you find daily tasks so difficult,” she remarked. Handing me a questionnaire, she added, “If your score is high enough, your doctor might prescribe Adderall.” Her tone implied that my issues were akin to those of a hyperactive child on a sugar rush.
At home, I took the questionnaire seriously, until I encountered a question that struck me as absurd: “Do you struggle to pay attention to things that bore you?” Isn’t that just the definition of boredom? If mundane tasks were engaging, they wouldn’t be boring in the first place. I decided that addressing my life directly would yield better results than filling out ADD questionnaires and relying on medication.
However, for parents—especially stay-at-home moms and dads—perhaps Adderall could indeed alleviate many of our challenges. Many of us parents find ourselves caught in a web of monotonous tasks that require our undivided attention. If we adhere to the criteria I encountered years ago, countless parents might qualify for what I’ve dubbed Parenting Attention Deficit Disorder, or PADD. Here’s hoping it makes its way into the next DSM edition.
I don’t mean to imply that my focus is lost at all times. I can manage to provide the kids with their thirty-two daily meals and snacks, engage in coloring sessions for up to half an hour, and read stories for even longer. Yet, inevitably, my mind drifts. I often ponder what adults not cleaning macaroni and cheese off the ceiling might be doing, which leads me to scroll through Facebook. Sometimes I even find myself skimming headlines to assist my eldest with her social studies homework, thinking, “Wait, we have a black president?! Since when?!”
When my PADD compels me to engage in interesting, non-parenting related activities, I still keep my ears tuned to the kids. I must remain vigilant to ensure my son doesn’t overwhelm his little sister with affection, often resembling Elmyra from Tiny Toons in his attempts to hug her with excessive enthusiasm. Most of the time, he’s a caring big brother, but being four, he’s not exactly what you’d call a qualified babysitter.
The other day, while my toddler and son were playing contentedly upstairs, I ventured a peek and noticed the little one was occupied with her sister’s dolls while my son sat at his desk, his back turned to me. After a quick anti-PADD fix on Twitter, I went upstairs only to discover my son had initiated a game with scissors he dubbed “Cut Everything”—a name that was both vividly descriptive and alarming.
I promptly confiscated the scissors and we embarked on a cleanup mission to gather the multitude of confetti pieces he had created. The paper clung to my toddler’s clothes so stubbornly that I even found myself vacuuming her outfit while she was still wearing it. (Naturally, I shared this on social media during my next PADD episode.)
I didn’t think much of the incident until my partner returned home later that evening and inquired about the state of our toddler’s hair. “What’s happened to her beautiful curls?” she asked, clearly distressed.
That’s when it hit me: in those brief moments of unsupervised play, my son had given his sister an impromptu haircut. Ever the clever little sister, she had promptly informed on him. When asked if her brother had used scissors on her hair, she nodded and exclaimed, “Boy. Hair.”
Both my son and I were in trouble.
I completely understood my partner’s frustration regarding my lack of oversight: we were fortunate it was just a haircut and that she still has all her toes intact. Since that day, I’ve made a conscious effort to be more attentive. I now steer clear of the distracting allure of the Internet. However, maintaining constant focus is no easy feat.
I don’t believe PADD is solely a byproduct of our digital age. Parenting has always been a challenge; since the dawn of humankind, parents have likely turned their attention to less pressing matters—like watching fire flicker on cave walls—while neglecting their little ones. I have the proof to back this up.
When my son’s preschool teacher shared her own story, she said, “Oh yes, that happened to me too. My older daughter once gave her little sister a haircut while they were playing under the kitchen table. She cut her hair so short that it resembled a bad Marine haircut.”
Curious, I asked, “Where were you during all of this?”
“Just sitting at the same table, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper,” she shrugged. So while earlier generations may not have been addicted to Facebook, they certainly experienced PADD, much like we do now.
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In Summary:
Parenting Attention Deficit Disorder is a modern challenge faced by many parents as they juggle the demands of daily life. While it may seem like a contemporary issue exacerbated by technology, it’s a struggle that has existed for generations. By acknowledging these distractions and striving for greater attentiveness, we can navigate the parenting landscape more effectively.
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