Sometimes, Embracing the Chaos at Home is the Key to My Sanity

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“What on earth happened here?” was the first thing my partner exclaimed upon returning home one evening last week. I’m not trying to cast him in a negative light; I would have asked the same question if the roles were reversed. His inquiry was perfectly valid. The living room looked like a scene from a disaster movie, with dress-up clothes strewn from end to end. The playroom floor was a colorful mess of paper, markers, and ribbons decorating the furniture. I was a hot mess myself, and neither of the kids were even dressed.

That day had been a true test of endurance. We set off for our 9 a.m. swimming lesson, only to find the parking lot packed due to a school swimming carnival. Just as I was pulling the stroller from the car, the rain decided to join the fun. After dropping my toddler off at her grandparents’, I zoomed off with the baby for a lunch date. Naturally, a disrupted sleep schedule led to a cranky baby. To top it off, my potty-training toddler had an epic accident that I won’t bother detailing.

The only saving grace was a planned playdate. The doorbell couldn’t ring fast enough. My daughter and her friend transformed into princesses and mermaids, lions and dragons, hosting a “party” that was brimming with ribbons, stickers, and hand-drawn invitations. It was an afternoon filled with joy.

Meanwhile, my friend and I enjoyed cups of tea and engaged in heartfelt conversations about life, venting about the challenges of parenting “threenagers.” We discussed vacations, work, and everything in between. Most of the time, aside from the occasional request for water or snacks, we were blissfully uninterrupted. Before we knew it, it was 6 p.m., and we had to wrap up our visit to dive into the dinner/bath/bed routine.

Some days, I feel invincible, accomplishing everything on my to-do list. Miraculously, both kids fall asleep at the same time, I tackle my overflowing inbox, and the house stays tidy while dinner is served at a reasonable hour. On those days, life feels like a well-oiled machine.

But then there are the other days—the chaotic days where toys are scattered across the house, laundry languishes in the washing machine for days, and dinner consists of chicken nuggets and cheese slices. Bath time becomes a forgotten ritual, and bedtime is far more relaxed than it should be.

I genuinely love cooking for my family and seeing a tidy home. I cherish knowing that everyone has clean clothes and a cozy bed to crawl into at night. Yet, I also value my quiet moments with a cup of tea, the camaraderie of friends, and the necessity of self-care. Sometimes, I yearn for the luxury of not having to issue commands like, “Pick that up,” or “Stop leaving your toys in the hallway.” There are moments when I want to close the door on the mess behind me and deal with it tomorrow.

At the end of the day, we do what we must—whether it’s placing a fussy baby in their crib and stepping out for a breath of fresh air or enjoying a cup of tea while our kids wreak havoc around us, leaving a trail of stickers in their wake. What good is a pristine home if you end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted from the daily grind? Just as we care for our kids, our homes, or our favorite shoes kept in pristine condition, we need to look after ourselves.

So, when my partner posed that question amidst the dinner chaos, I took a moment to survey the scene. I knew cleaning up would take some time, but I was happy. My kids were happy. What had started as a stressful morning had transformed into a delightful afternoon filled with laughter. I turned to him and said simply, “Sanity happened here.”

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In summary, embracing the chaos of family life can lead to moments of joy and sanity. Sometimes, it’s okay to let the mess unfold while prioritizing self-care and connection with others.

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