Stop Judging Me for Being a ‘Cool’ Mom

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I can sense those disapproving glances from across the playground. Your skepticism is palpable, and it feels all too familiar, reminiscent of high school whispers and eyebrow raises. I see you and your judgment, but frankly, I’m unfazed.

Your perception of a “cool” mom often equates to a “bad” mom in your eyes, and you’re not shy about spreading that opinion. But let’s be real—I’m not losing any sleep over it. It seems that my children, much like yours, enjoy spending time with me, breaking the unwritten rule that mothers and kids can’t be friends. My parenting style may not align with yours, but my kids are thriving, and that’s what matters.

Perhaps my approach to motherhood irks you because it isn’t traditional. I notice your narrowed gaze, your subtle disapproval, but I can assure you that I don’t need your validation. I chose to embrace my individuality alongside my role as a mother. My passions—like yoga and running—remain central to my life. If I didn’t nurture my own interests, I risked resenting motherhood, which would ultimately be detrimental to my children’s well-being.

Yes, my kids enjoy a certain freedom. They make mistakes, run around the neighborhood, and embrace a bit of chaos. They might not always be spotless, but I’m not hovering over them, correcting their every move. My parenting style doesn’t equate to being a bad mom.

I get it, my wardrobe choices may clash with your expectations. When I find a funky top at places like Forever 21, I wear it with pride. If you think I’m trying too hard to look young, that’s your prerogative. My daughter borrows my clothes because she thinks they’re cool, and isn’t that a win for body positivity and self-expression?

Wondering why all the sleepovers happen at my house? It’s because I embrace the messiness of childhood. I don’t mind if the kids don’t settle down right away. I whip up a bowl of popcorn, let them enjoy their time together, and step back. I’m the mom who unknowingly gives your daughter stories to share—like the late-night adventure they had while I was blissfully asleep. If their wildest escapades include ding-dong ditch, I’ll take that over them staring at their phones all night.

So please, don’t wake me up when your daughter is texting you at midnight. Isn’t it better that she’s out having fun rather than worrying about responding to you? I know it stings when your daughter comes home saying, “Emma’s mom is the coolest!” It’s a stark contrast to the long list of rules you enforce. While I recognize the need for boundaries, my approach leans more toward respect rather than control.

You believe that constant oversight makes you a good mom, but I argue the opposite. Kids, especially teens, require the freedom to stumble and learn. They’re more likely to confide in us when they feel trusted. They don’t want advice from someone who comes off as fake. When I shared my own teenage missteps, your daughter appreciated the honesty. She found my experience relatable and useful.

Despite any animosity you may feel, I’m here for you. When your daughter made an unkind comment about you, I addressed it. I’ve gently reminded her that certain conversations are best held with you, not me. Because after all, I’m her friend, not her mom.

So here’s to all the ‘cool’ moms out there. Embrace your individuality and your children’s freedom. After all, parenting is about balance, and sometimes being ‘cool’ means allowing room for growth.

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Summary

This article challenges the stigma surrounding “cool” moms and advocates for a parenting style that balances individuality with nurturing. It emphasizes the importance of trust, respect, and freedom in parenting, while also addressing the judgment from others.

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