When I shared the news of my engagement, a colleague exclaimed, “I’m so thrilled you’ve found your soulmate!” I paused, reflecting on that term: soulmates. The connection just wasn’t there. As I envisioned my fiancé, I struggled to reconcile the notion of soulmates with our relationship. Was I making a mistake? Was there someone else out there who was truly my soulmate, while I was preparing to marry this man who didn’t quite fit the mold?
For days, I felt an unsettling cloud hanging over me. My fiancé noticed my change in demeanor and asked if something was bothering me, but I brushed it off. I began nitpicking his quirks—like his coffee slurping or his odd laugh—and my doubts grew. The man I was set to marry might not be my soulmate.
Determining Your Soulmate
So, how do you determine if your partner is your soulmate? Is it about agreeing on everything? Never fighting? A constant stream of bliss? If you’ve experienced even a hint of that fairytale scenario, consider yourself fortunate. Most people, like me, don’t.
Despite my initial reservations, I went through with the wedding. Now, four years later, do I believe he’s my soulmate? No. And that’s perfectly okay. We get along and connect, but it’s not always romantic. Truthfully, most of our conversations revolve around grocery lists and meal planning. If you’re married, you probably understand. It’s not that the spark is gone; it’s just that we’ve chosen practicality over perpetual romance.
The Reality of Marriage
If you expect your marriage to be filled with grand gestures and fireworks, prepare for a reality check. Most of the excitement happens in the kitchen—sorry to burst your bubble! It’s not that there’s no chemistry; it’s just that marriage brings a dose of reality.
Love doesn’t come with an instruction manual, nor does it require you to be on your best behavior at all times. The soulmate idea is far too idealistic for the real world. You can’t make your partner happy all the time. You’ll mess up and annoy each other, but you learn to live with it. No two people are an absolute “perfect fit.” Your partner might find happiness with someone else, but they choose to be with you for who you are—not because you’re soulmates.
Why I Stay
So, why am I still with my husband if I don’t see him as my soulmate? Because he brings me an apple when I skip breakfast, tiptoes around the house when I’m sleeping, and offers to cook when I’m feeling lazy. These are not the hallmark gestures of soulmates; they’re the actions of a caring partner.
What good are roses and sweet nothings when I need help tidying up the house? A relationship flourishes when you can laugh at each other’s flaws rather than idolizing them. It’s about being comfortable enough to be yourself, even in your comfiest pajamas and messy hair. He may not pen poetic verses for me, but his playful teasing is what I adore.
Conclusion
You can’t navigate life waiting for a fairytale ending, as the soulmate myth suggests. Relationships require effort, tackling imperfections, and finding joy in the mundane. Romance is often overemphasized, while genuine comfort is frequently underestimated.
And that’s why I say the concept of soulmates is complete nonsense. For more insights on relationships, check out this engaging blog post on Cervical Insemination. And if you’re interested in home insemination, CryoBaby offers reliable at-home insemination kits. Lastly, for further information on pregnancy, Healthline is an excellent resource.
Summary
The concept of soulmates is often romanticized but unrealistic. True relationships are built on understanding, practicality, and shared life experiences rather than idealized notions of perfection.