I’m thrilled we could squeeze in a chat while you’re away on that business trip. Sorry I missed your earlier call; I couldn’t hear my phone over the delightful chaos here at home. Just your typical sibling rivalry—nothing too serious, thankfully. No bloodshed this time. It’s a good thing the kids decided Band-Aids make great stickers while I was in the shower!
How’s Your Trip Going?
So, you’ve already wrapped up your meetings for the day? Planning to explore a bit? That sounds fantastic! I wish I could join you on your little adventure. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve stepped outside since you left, aside from the school runs. Well, there was that time I had to drag the kids to the store in the pouring rain because one of them decided to pour cereal on his own (and created a milk explosion) while I was preoccupied with diaper duty.
Hotel Room and Views
Oh yes, I did see the photos of your hotel room. It looks luxurious! You should see our view today—our neighbor’s trash can toppled over last night, and it’s a sight to behold. I had no idea how much rubbish could fit in one of those bins!
How’s the hotel bed? It looks massive! You must feel a bit lonely sleeping in it solo. I always have a tough time when you’re away, but last night the kids and the dog joined me, so at least I had some company—only got kicked in the face twice, so that’s a win, right?
Food Adventures
Speaking of food, the dinner pictures you sent looked mouthwatering. If you’d like, I could send you a shot of my dinner, but I doubt you’d be impressed with reheated pork roast. The kids certainly weren’t; tonight, we’re switching it up to ramen noodles. At least our meals had one thing in common—wine! Yours probably wasn’t from a box, though.
I hope that lobster and filet mignon were worth it—so fancy! It’s hard to tell with all the candlelight reflecting off that shiny silverware. I couldn’t see much since the kids decided to play demolition derby with my glasses earlier. And by the way, I hope you meant it when you said we need a new TV because ours has a crack now.
Clothes and Chaos
Were you able to pack your dress clothes without them turning into a wrinkled mess? I’m relieved that my clothes don’t need to worry about that since the baby seems to have caught a stomach bug. I had no idea one tiny human could produce so much mess! Thank goodness I’m not scheduled to go anywhere—unless we run out of milk again.
Your meetings are a bit dull? Well, let’s see what’s happening around here. Exciting story: I managed to get all the laundry done! Well, it’s clean at least. Folding it is another story. Just as I was about to tackle that chore, one of the kids came in crying because he tried to fashion a bubble gum mustache-scarf and got it stuck in his hair. That was a fun 15 minutes of my life!
Oh, and I caught the toddler trying to insert a screw into his ear! I’m glad I was on my way to the trash can to toss soggy paper towels when that happened. And speaking of messes, I hope you weren’t planning on snacking on those pork rinds, as they’re currently half-digested and staining the carpet. No idea how the dog got those, but I suspect one of the kids played a part while I was busy cleaning up the million peppercorns someone spilled on the floor.
Enjoy Your Day!
Ah, it’s time for you to enjoy some sightseeing! Have an amazing day! I’ve got a thrilling afternoon ahead myself—there’s a new episode of Paw Patrol to catch. Sure, it’s through a cracked screen, but at least it gives me 30 minutes to sift through the kids’ school folders and figure out what homework they’ll need help with before bath time.
Guilt trip? Me? Perhaps just a smidgen. But hey, I’m not going on any other outings… unless you count the grocery store trips in the rain with all the kids.
I’ll be counting down the moments until you return to the chaos here. Can’t wait to hear all about your trip and get back to the lap of luxury. Love you!
Resources
By the way, if you’re looking for great resources on pregnancy and home insemination, check out the CDC’s excellent guide here. And if you need any supplies, I’ve come across a fantastic online retailer for at-home insemination kits that you might find useful—take a look at Cryobaby. Oh, and for more on this topic, feel free to explore this other blog post.
Summary
A humorous and heartfelt letter from a busy mom to her husband on a business trip, detailing the delightful chaos of managing the household, the kids, and everyday challenges. The piece offers a glimpse into the ups and downs of parenting while maintaining a lighthearted tone.