It all started with swimming lessons. Rushing four kids to the community center at 4:30 p.m. on a Monday was a recipe for chaos. I found myself wrestling with an adventurous 1-year-old who wanted to explore every corner of the changing room, alongside a spirited 2½-year-old who had a knack for bolting at the slightest distraction. This was particularly exhilarating at a pool.
After the lesson, we were all crammed into a cramped changing room where I was urging my then-5-year-old twins to change quickly. By the time we finally reached the car, I was completely drained, the babies were exhausted, and the kids were in a sour mood from my constant reminders to hurry since we had barely settled in after school. I realized then that we couldn’t keep up this frantic pace.
That year, my spouse and I decided to become foster parents, adding two more young kids to our already bustling family. Suddenly, our calendar was packed with activities, making everything even trickier to manage. We had our weekly swimming lessons, tee-ball where I was juggling a 7-month-old in a carrier while trying to prevent her from munching on grass, and gymnastics for my daughter which included early morning drop-offs. And, of course, we had to rush back for my son’s Saturday afternoon field hockey game.
For families with multiple kids, busyness often feels like the norm. It’s expected that we’ll be carpooling, coordinating schedules, and shoving snacks into their mouths as we dash out the door. We all want our kids to be engaged, to explore their passions, and to stay active. These experiences are vital, and it’s understandable for families to want to provide every opportunity possible.
Yet, on that fateful Monday afternoon, as I securely fastened all the kids into their car seats post-swimming lessons, I began to question whether our family life needed to be this hectic. My spouse and I had a heart-to-heart and decided that we needed to make a change before we completely lost our minds.
At the end of that session, we opted out of everything, taking a break from extracurricular activities and sports, and let ourselves exhale. Our schedule was suddenly free of commitments after school. Our weekends opened up, and I could actually feel the weight of stress lifting off my shoulders. We had taken on the significant responsibility of foster parenting, but we hadn’t adjusted our lives to fit this new reality, and it had taken a toll. The relief we all experienced that winter proved to be a turning point.
When spring arrived, each child selected one activity that entailed no more than a weekly commitment. If it could fall on a Saturday, even better. We decided that if we had to be busy, we’d rather do it on weekends when one of us could stay home with those who didn’t have to be anywhere. My daughter chose cheerleading, my son picked soccer, and we signed them up for swimming. That was it. We had one activity during the week and two on weekends, and we’ve maintained this balance for the past three years.
It’s not a flawless plan, and it may not suit every family, but it has worked wonders for us. This isn’t about imposing guilt; it’s a reminder that as parents, we have choices. We can shape how our lives—and our children’s lives—look, at least for a while. If busy schedules invigorate you, by all means, dive in! But if you find yourself feeling as overwhelmed as we did, know that a hectic lifestyle doesn’t have to define your family.
Our kids remain active, social, and content, yet we’re only committed one night a week. Our evenings are now more relaxed, allowing time for my spouse to hit the gym or play basketball, for the kids to unwind after dinner, tackle household chores, or even enjoy spontaneous playdates. Perhaps they’re missing out on certain skills, and maybe they’ll wish I had made different choices down the road, but I want them to remember these years for the time we spent together. I want them to recall weekends that stretched out ahead of us, the relief of returning home after school with no pressing commitments.
I envision them inviting friends over, us deciding on a whim to go out for dinner, catch a movie, or have a card game at the kitchen table. These years, the ones before they fill their own schedules with friends, homework, and extracurriculars, should ground them in our home, in our family.
There’s plenty of time for busy days ahead. So why not take it easy while we can?
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Summary
In a world that often equates busyness with productivity, one family has chosen a different path. By stepping back from overwhelming schedules and embracing a slower pace, they found balance, happiness, and quality time together. This article encourages parents to reflect on their own commitments and consider what truly matters in family life.