Dear Partner,
I want to start by saying I love you deeply. But let’s be real — I’m exhausted. Not just tired, but completely spent. My fatigue has a fatigue of its own. Do you understand? It’s almost futile to articulate just how drained I feel, as it takes too much energy to express coherent thoughts. I’m fried. Worn out. Overwhelmed. Tired.
You might look at me as if I’m from another planet, but the truth is, I’m a working mom, and that’s a unique experience. I wrestle with the constant guilt of not being home with our kids like those “perfect” moms.
I fully recognize that stay-at-home moms work incredibly hard. But for me, going to my job feels like a little escape, even though I put in meaningful effort there too. I want our children to understand the value of hard work; I believe it will fortify them for life. That’s the narrative I tell myself, but the guilt of not being present for them is persistent and never quite goes away.
Let me clarify: I don’t view you as a bad husband or father. In fact, you’re among the best out there. You’re my hero, my rock, my main guy. Please don’t try to “fix” my fatigue; instead, you can alleviate some of my burdens in practical ways.
When you see me juggling work documents, kids’ backpacks, art projects, or groceries, lend a hand. And seriously, can you keep better track of your keys and wallet? It would make a huge difference.
Another thing weighing on me is loneliness. Working moms often find themselves isolated. Most of my friends are in the same daily grind, leaving little room for social interaction. The days of spa dates and happy hours have faded. When we do manage to have a glass of wine in our pajamas, it feels like a precious escape.
Please understand, loneliness is a significant hurdle for me. I need community, so I hope you’ll support my friendships and encourage me to get out more. That means you stepping up while I take a breather. I know you’d like a detailed to-do list while I’m gone, but sometimes I’m just too worn out to put one together.
Please handle feeding the kids, bathing them, checking homework, and laying out their clothes for school, especially on days with special activities. (For the love of all things, don’t let our daughter wear a skirt on P.E. day!) Build that paper mache Eiffel Tower and deal with the mess glitter creates. Make sure they brush their teeth and read a bedtime story. All of this needs to happen on time so they get enough sleep. If not, we’ll both pay the price with sleep-deprived meltdowns.
After that, tackle the kitchen chores, feed the pets, prepare school lunches, and transfer laundry to avoid that dreadful mildew smell. If it’s already there, re-rinse the load. (I detest that buzzer.)
I admit I have control issues, and I’m working on them. I’ll strive to come home from my evening with friends without nitpicking everything that happened while I was away. Who cares if dinner was a mix of mac and cheese and leftover spaghetti? Carbs for the win! I know it’s a lot of work, and I appreciate your help, darling.
In closing, I feel overwhelmed and inadequate. I’m giving 60% to every aspect of my life, which is a failing grade. If you were coasting along with a D, you’d look worn out too, right? I know this is tough, but I’m determined to tackle tomorrow with renewed energy. Even if I fall short, could you please remind me that I’m doing a good job? Encouragement in parenting, work, and our family would mean the world to me.
I look to you for some rest as well. It’s not just about intimacy (though that would be nice too). How about running me a bubble bath now and then, lighting a candle, and letting me unwind for a few minutes? It’s a fair trade for your time spent in the “throne room” which has somehow become your personal escape. Set the mood, dim the lights, and put on some Boyz II Men. Just don’t get upset if I crash into bed before the song is even halfway through.
I wish I could linger and discuss more, but I have a busy schedule ahead: wiping noses, checking emails, finishing math homework, and plenty of other tasks before I get to sleep.
With love,
Your working wife
For more insights on balancing work and motherhood, check out this post on this blog. And if you’re considering at-home options, Make a Mom offers a great selection of insemination kits. For a thorough understanding of pregnancy and home insemination, visit NHS.
In summary, it’s vital for working moms to have supportive partners who understand their struggles, share the load, and provide encouragement. A little help can go a long way in making the journey more manageable.