There’s a half-open package of hot dogs residing in my freezer, a remnant from my son’s fourth birthday dinner request. It all started when I let him browse a Google Images search of “kids’ foods” for inspiration. He came to a stop, his eyes wide, declaring, “That’s the dinner I’ve always wanted.” His choice? A corn dog.
“Corn dogs? Are you certain? I saw a pizza that looked like a face back there.”
But he was adamant.
So, I splurged on organic hot dogs, forgetting momentarily that they’re still hot dogs, primarily made from less desirable parts. I whipped up a corn batter and celebrated my firstborn’s special day with homemade corn dogs. Sure, there was an easier, pre-packaged option just a few feet away in the store, but guilt crept in, disguised as the need to make everything from scratch.
In general, I aim to provide my children with fresh, nutritious meals. Processed foods are as rare as I can manage without losing my sanity. Fruits make an appearance at every meal, vegetables most of the time, and meat on occasion. Yet, despite my rational thoughts reminding me that “good enough” is still quite good, I can’t shake the nagging feeling that including a tiny treat, like a miniature peanut butter cup, somehow spoils an otherwise healthy meal.
This isn’t how I was raised. Growing up, every vegetable on my plate was out of a can, swimming in salt brine. Breakfast consisted of sugary cereals chased with milk. I can count on one hand the fruits and veggies I consumed regularly. In fact, I didn’t even try a strawberry until my partner and I moved in together. I finally trusted him enough to believe they weren’t as disgusting as I had assumed. As I matured, I tried new foods and gradually improved my diet.
When I became a parent, I was determined to instill a better relationship with food in my kids than I had. I envisioned them instinctively running outside to pluck fresh green beans for a snack at the first hint of hunger. There may have even been singing birds and a chatty squirrel in that fantasy.
Guilt aside, when dinner time arrived on my son’s birthday, I felt good about serving him corn dogs. He devoured them and even asked for a second, a rare request at dinner since he knows it usually means dessert is delayed. In that moment, I felt no remorse for giving my son what he wanted on his special day. Corn dogs are delicious, and we both enjoyed them.
Now, those extra hot dogs are still in my freezer, and they have about a month left before they need to be used or tossed. I should have thought to cook and serve them, but the thought of reaching for hot dogs felt wrong when I had healthier options available.
Allowing my children to enjoy their favorite foods makes me fear I’m leading them towards a future of health issues. It’s silly really, considering I survived my adolescence on a diet of Cool Ranch Doritos while still managing to complete some community college and maintain a decent BMI. If my efforts in feeding them well make any difference, they should both be Olympic champions with an EGOT by age twenty.
While I strive not to make food an overly emotional topic for my kids, the reality is that food is inherently tied to emotions. It plays a significant role in our family gatherings and cultural events, serving as a medium for celebration and comfort.
Looking back at joyful food memories from my childhood, they certainly don’t revolve around grilled chicken breasts. Instead, I recall the time my grandmother made ice cream sundaes for dinner just because. Or the thrill of preparing my first family meal. Each birthday, I had apple pie with candles since cake never appealed to me. The reasons these memories are vivid are the spontaneity and excitement—apple pie is one of the best desserts that doesn’t risk any legal issues. Maybe my son will remember his birthday filled with corn dogs he loved.
So, I’m learning to loosen my grip. I recognize that I’m a bit too uptight about food choices, despite being a generally laid-back mom. Treats are called treats for a reason—they’re special and meant to be enjoyed. Feeling good shouldn’t come with a side of guilt. Part of teaching my children a healthy relationship with food is showing them how to indulge without going overboard, and importantly, to avoid guilt afterward.
Time to add some hot dogs to this week’s menu, without any guilt attached.
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Summary:
In this article, I reflect on my journey of navigating my children’s food choices while battling guilt over processed foods. I share my own childhood experiences with food, the importance of creating joyful memories around meals, and the realization that treats, like hot dogs, can be enjoyed without guilt. It’s essential to teach kids a healthy relationship with food, allowing indulgence as part of a balanced diet.