Let’s take a bizarre journey for a moment. Picture a scenario where someone glances over at their dog’s toy box and thinks, “Hey, that might spice things up in the bedroom!” What?! No, just no.
After stumbling upon a rather strange rumor recently, I can confidently say that I will never view a squeaky toy the same way again. Allegedly, a dog toy called Būmi has supposedly been awarded recognition as a sex toy. Despite my terrifying online searches that have forever altered my innocence, I haven’t been able to confirm this. To be honest, I was too appalled to thoroughly explore the archives of sex toy awards. Just look at this thing—it’s labeled a tug toy, which is fitting. But I can’t help asking, “Where would one even use that?” and “Is that a handle or…?”
It turns out that the practice of using dog toys as sex toys isn’t entirely new. Yes, it’s a thing, and let’s be real: many dog toys are non-toxic, flexible, and shaped in ways that could raise eyebrows. After all this, I fear my targeted ads are irreparably scarred, and now my kids think we might be adopting a dog. Seriously, do yourself a favor and avoid googling “dog toys” alongside “sex toys.” Just don’t do it.
While it’s true that some individuals utilize dog toys for adult fun, if you take a look at some of the more imaginative sex toys available nowadays, you might struggle to distinguish between the two. There’s even a video out there of moms, blindfolded, attempting to tell apart dog toys from sex toys. It’s surprisingly more challenging than one might expect.
Here are a few things I discovered while diving into the odd world of dog and sex toys online:
- People can be incredibly strange. Seriously, some items I came across looked more like instruments of torture than anything pleasurable. No judgment here, as consenting adults are free to enjoy whatever they like, while I’ll just sip my plain coffee.
- There’s an entire industry dedicated to items that are inserted into bodies, a realm I was blissfully unaware of until now. It seems like a lot of warm-up stretching must happen in those households.
- I learned about something called a vajankle, and now I’m seriously contemplating burning my computer. Don’t even think about looking it up.
- My kids are going to be banned from the internet forever unless I find the strongest filters known to man. What will happen when they become teenagers? Ugh, definitely setting this computer ablaze.
- I sincerely hope those who use dog toys as sex toys don’t actually own dogs, as that could lead to some confusing situations.
- WHY on earth does this exist?!
- I now see people in a different light after this journey. I think I’ll be the one laughing uncontrollably in the pet aisle at the store from now on.
- I can’t read dog toy descriptions without feeling a little traumatized. Phrases like “designed for dogs with intense play drives!” and “perfect for indoor or outdoor use!” have taken on a whole new meaning!
- I totally understand why people might choose dog toys—often, they’re more affordable than sex toys and are made from similar materials. What is happening to me?!
- If I can’t view dog toys the same way anymore, neither can you. So, you’re welcome!
In conclusion, people’s creativity knows no bounds, the internet can be a dark place, and I’ve clearly been living under a sippy cup for the past decade. I genuinely feel for the sex shops that might go bankrupt now that Petco has a better sale.
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Summary:
It’s easy to see how the lines between dog toys and sex toys can blur, especially given their similar designs and materials. The internet can introduce us to bizarre and sometimes unnerving ideas, leaving us with a new perspective on everyday items. Always approach these topics with caution, and ensure you’re well-informed.