After that unforgettable day in September, I remember thinking that our flags might as well stay at half-staff forever. It felt like our nation was shattered, and we owed it to those lost to keep the mourning alive. But, like time has a way of doing, life moved on. Flags flew high, new babies were welcomed, and celebrations returned. Yet, amid this return to normalcy, we faced tragedies like the Virginia Tech shooting, the horrors in Aurora, and Tucson, among countless others. Each time, our lives seemed to pick up speed, almost as if we were racing away from the pain.
When the Newtown tragedy struck, it hit me hard. I found myself crying daily, pouring over every story I could find about the victims. I felt a need to connect with their grief, as if sharing in their suffering could somehow justify my own luck in being untouched by the tragedy.
Then, just this week, I found myself reconsidering where I take my kids. After another heartbreaking event during a marathon, I realized I’d have to explain something so devastating to them when I still couldn’t wrap my head around it myself. The photos, the stories, the empathy for other parents—it all felt overwhelming. And yet, in that moment, I selfishly felt grateful it wasn’t my family affected. I even contemplated building a protective bubble around my loved ones, keeping them close to me at all times.
But in less than 48 hours, everything returned to business as usual. The flags were back at full staff. I caught myself snapping at my kids, rushing through bedtime instead of cherishing those moments. A third grader had lost their life cheering on runners, and there I was, impatiently rolling my eyes at my own child when she wouldn’t settle down for bed. How could I let myself forget?
I long for the days when I believed life could never return to normal after such devastation. That sense of never being able to move on felt safer than the reality I face now—where the gratitude and perspective I held onto slip away so quickly.
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In summary, while we try to navigate the chaos of life and parenting in a world filled with tragedy, it’s essential to remember the fleeting nature of gratitude and perspective. Our lives may move on, but the impact of these events stays with us.