As a parent, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of comparing our families to others and wishing we could provide more for our kids. While my family has always had enough, we choose to live modestly compared to some of our neighbors. We rent a cozy 1,000-square-foot duplex that has a combined living and dining area, a family room, and two snug bedrooms. It fits our family of four just fine, but it does mean that my two sons have to share a room.
When we first moved in, our youngest was just a baby and slept in our bed, so the idea of room-sharing wasn’t an issue. We let our older son take the second bedroom, thinking perhaps we’d convert the family room into a third bedroom down the line. I held off on making any solid plans for them to share for a while (our little guy co-slept for what felt like an eternity). Honestly, I was apprehensive about the whole idea.
I felt guilty that my kids didn’t have their own separate spaces like many of their peers. I worried about what would happen when my older son hit puberty—wouldn’t he need his own sanctuary? Would sharing a room lead to constant bickering? Would they harbor resentment toward each other forever? Would they compare our living situation to their friends’ and feel ashamed about our smaller home?
Then I realized that all these worries were just that—worries. They weren’t rooted in reality. It was time to stop stressing and take the plunge.
A few months ago, I finally told my older son that his little brother would be moving in with him. He protested a bit, but honestly, it was less than I anticipated. I framed it as transforming his room into a “Brothers’ Den”—a fun space just for them. He had some ideas: bean bag chairs, a lava lamp, and a TV for video games. We rearranged things, and it was great to see their excitement grow as their new space came together.
Of course, it hasn’t been all smooth sailing. Sharing a room means messes accumulate quickly, and there’s little room for excess toys. So, we tackled the closets, sorted through the toy bins, and cleared some floor space to ensure they both had room for their belongings without feeling cramped.
Now that they’ve been sharing a room for a few months, I can honestly say I have no idea why I hesitated in the first place. It’s been fantastic! Sure, there’s been some whining and the occasional squabble (but honestly, no more than before), yet the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks. If you’re contemplating merging your kids’ rooms—whether out of necessity or just because—let me tell you, I wholeheartedly endorse this approach.
Here’s why:
Bonding
Brotherly bonding can sometimes resemble an all-out wrestling match, but it’s bonding nonetheless. Living in close quarters forces them to connect, no matter how that manifests.
Creating Memories
My best childhood memories aren’t just the picture-perfect moments but rather the simple, everyday experiences we shared. Now that my kids are sharing a room, they have countless opportunities to create lasting memories together.
Conflict Resolution
Initially, I hesitated about them sharing a room because I didn’t want them to face potential conflicts. But I’ve come to realize that navigating these disagreements is an essential life lesson. Yes, sometimes they might annoy each other or borrow things without asking. How do they set boundaries while still being kind? They’re not experts yet, but they’re getting plenty of practice.
Learning to Declutter
Living in a small space means my kids must be selective about what they keep. I admit to sneaking in a bit of decluttering when they’re not around, but they’re starting to learn how to let go of items they no longer need. Plus, their limited space compels them to put their clothes in the laundry basket and clear out those pesky Legos from the floor.
Understanding Humility
My children grasp that while they may not have as much room as some of their friends, they are fortunate compared to many who have far less. This past holiday season, I explained to my youngest that some children don’t receive gifts. His shocked reaction highlighted the disparity, and it motivated him to declutter his toys and donate them to those in need.
If you find yourself debating whether to have your kids share a room, I encourage you to go for it. The benefits far outweigh the potential challenges, and even the tough moments teach valuable lessons about compromise, resilience, and the beauty of living closely with those we love. For more insights, check out this related blog post.
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Summary
Room-sharing can foster strong sibling bonds, create lasting memories, teach conflict resolution, encourage decluttering, and help children appreciate a humble lifestyle. Embracing this arrangement has been a rewarding experience that emphasizes the beauty of togetherness.