From a young age, I dreamed of becoming a mom. I can’t recall a time when the idea of starting a family didn’t excite me. With a nurturing mother as my role model, a love for babies, and plenty of babysitting experience, I felt prepared when my partner and I decided to embark on this journey.
Or so I thought.
Despite my enthusiasm and lifelong aspirations, the reality of new motherhood hit me like a freight train. The relentless sleep deprivation was just the tip of the iceberg. The emotional heaviness that came from nurturing a tiny human was overwhelming. Transitioning from an independent woman to a devoted mother was a rollercoaster ride of emotions. And let’s not forget the physical toll of growing and birthing a child, alongside the challenge of figuring out how to care for this new life.
I was fortunate to have an incredible support network—my mother, mother-in-law, friends, and a loving partner all rallied around me. My mom, a labor and delivery nurse and certified lactation consultant, stayed with me for two weeks, offering both emotional and practical support. And yet, even with all that help, it was still incredibly tough.
Welcoming a baby into your life is unlike any other experience. It’s filled with joy and wonder, but it’s also exhausting and confusing. There’s no real way to prepare for the whirlwind of feelings that accompany parenthood.
We need to shift our perspective on how we support new moms. Instead of emphasizing preparation, we should focus on providing immediate, hands-on support. New mothers don’t need advice—they need assistance right in the moment. They require visits that demand no effort on their part, just someone to hold their baby while they catch up on laundry or enjoy a much-needed nap. They need reassurance that their feelings of doubt, fatigue, and uncertainty are completely normal. A warm meal can make all the difference.
What new moms truly need is not just baby gear or gifts but a community that stands in solidarity with them. They benefit immensely from other mothers who have experienced the same struggles, looking into their tired eyes and affirming that they are not alone. It’s essential for them to realize that the emotional highs and lows are a normal part of this journey.
It’s been years since I welcomed my first child, and I sometimes forget how overwhelming those early days can be. We often romanticize newborns, but we need to remember that this stage is far from easy. Caring for a newborn may seem straightforward—feed, change, rock, repeat—but the reality is much more complex. We must acknowledge the challenges and provide the necessary support to help new moms thrive.
If you know a new mom, reach out with encouraging words and perhaps pick up some groceries for her. Let her know that her home doesn’t have to look perfect and that you’re happy to hold her baby for a few hours while she takes a breather. Don’t wait for her to ask for help; she may not even realize she needs it. Many new moms are so overwhelmed that they struggle to articulate their needs.
They need our honesty, our empathy, and our willingness to assist without judgment. They need to know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or ecstatic, to express their love for their new baby, and to be vulnerable.
New moms require support, and it’s our duty to step up and provide it.
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Summary
New motherhood can be incredibly overwhelming, and it’s crucial for the community to provide support and solidarity. Instead of expecting new moms to be prepared, we should offer hands-on help, emotional reassurance, and practical assistance. Let’s remember to show up for them during this transformative time.