“Why don’t you ever put that little one down?”
“Are you worried about spoiling him?”
“You should start teaching him to self-soothe right away!”
These are just a few of the comments I received when my children were newborns. Not when they were older, mind you, but when they were fresh out of the womb. Friends, family, and yes, even pediatricians questioned whether I was at risk of spoiling my babies by holding them constantly.
Now that my boys are 4 and 9, I chuckle at the absurdity of those remarks. They zoom past me so quickly that I often find myself pleading for a moment of cuddle time, just like the good old days. Back then, though, I wasn’t certain that my babies would grow to be independent, so the unsolicited advice weighed heavily on me.
To be honest, holding my babies nearly around the clock wasn’t just a preference; it was a necessity. If I dared to set them down, they would howl with all their might. Sure, I could have let them cry it out, but my instincts screamed that they needed to be comforted. I chose to trust those instincts, even when faced with judgmental glares.
It turns out, my instincts were spot on. Babies truly do need to be held when they fuss—not just because they’re adorable and smell heavenly, but because research now shows that you absolutely cannot spoil a baby. In fact, holding them is crucial for their overall health and development.
Research Findings
A recent study published in Pediatrics examined the long-term effects of skin-to-skin contact on premature infants. This research didn’t just focus on the immediate benefits of holding preemies, but also tracked their outcomes 20 years later. The results were astonishing: those who experienced skin-to-skin contact had higher IQs, larger areas of gray matter in their brains, and even earned higher salaries compared to their peers who didn’t receive this care. Furthermore, these individuals showed lower instances of hyperactivity and aggression in school and took fewer sick days.
While this study specifically targeted premature babies, similar findings have emerged for full-term infants. A 2012 study from the Cochrane Pregnancy and Childbirth Group indicated that full-term babies who had skin-to-skin contact in their early days exhibited better cardio-respiratory stability, higher breastfeeding rates, and less crying overall.
The benefits of holding your baby extend well beyond the first few weeks after birth. An earlier study from Pediatrics noted that snuggling significantly improved babies’ happiness and feeding abilities. Plus, carrying your baby throughout the day can alleviate fussiness and colicky symptoms, which many parents can relate to during those challenging early weeks.
Additional Insights
Want to know more? Research suggests that holding your baby during painful medical procedures, like vaccinations, can significantly diminish their experience of pain. Furthermore, skin-to-skin contact boosts breastfeeding success and fortifies the bond between parents and their babies.
For those interested in diving deeper, I recommend reading this insightful article originally published in the journal Newborn and Infant Nursing Reviews, authored by Dr. Ashley Thompson, a pediatrician and lactation consultant. Dr. Thompson emphasizes that an infant’s brain is still developing during those first few months, making the type of care they receive during this period critical for optimal growth.
In short, there’s a wealth of scientific evidence demonstrating that you cannot spoil a baby—absolutely none! In fact, most studies suggest that not holding your baby enough could have detrimental effects on their health and development.
If only I could turn back time and share this wealth of knowledge with those who criticized my decision to keep my little ones close. However, like most new moms, I was often too tired and overwhelmed to engage in debates. Thankfully, many mothers instinctively understand that their babies belong in their arms and that the notion of spoiling them is completely absurd.
But if you’re ever in need of solid scientific backing, rest assured that it exists and is continually expanding. Alternatively, you could simply give those naysayers your best “resting face,” grab your baby, and make a swift exit. That tends to work just fine too.
If you’re interested in more information on this topic, check out our other blog post here. And for those considering home insemination, reputable retailers like Make A Mom offer excellent at-home insemination syringe kits. Additionally, for comprehensive resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Cleveland Clinic.
Summary
Research shows that you cannot spoil a baby through excessive holding. In fact, skin-to-skin contact is essential for their health, development, and emotional well-being. Studies indicate that babies who receive more physical affection and attention are better off in the long run, demonstrating that nurturing them is crucial rather than detrimental.