When embarking on the potty training journey, you might feel prepared. You’ve probably read guides or heard stories from friends that made it seem manageable. But then reality hits: accidents happen, emotions run high, and laundry piles up. After what feels like an eternity, you finally celebrate your child’s newfound independence. However, there’s a lesser-discussed challenge that can arise: potty training regressions, particularly when your child enters school.
I’m currently facing this struggle with my daughter, and it’s revealing aspects of my parenting I never anticipated—some not so pleasant. Imagine discovering that your child, who you thought had mastered the process, is having frequent accidents, leaving you frustrated and confused. This is a challenging chapter, especially when your little one shrugs off questions about their accidents.
From the beginning, my husband and I emphasized that accidents are okay. We assured our daughter that we wouldn’t be upset. I wanted to ensure she felt no shame about these incidents, especially since I dealt with a bladder disorder as a child that went undiagnosed for years. The shame I felt back then still lingers, driving my desire to create a shame-free environment for her. Thankfully, she remains unbothered by accidents in public, which feels like a win.
However, our challenges escalated when we relocated at the end of her first year of school. This upheaval disrupted her routine and social connections, leading to a noticeable increase in accidents. Some days, she came home wearing other kids’ clothes because she had run out of her own. I tried to remain calm and remind her that we were not upset, but confusion lingered. I encouraged her to use the bathroom, but she often returned saying she couldn’t go, only to have an accident soon after.
Through our conversations, I learned that she sometimes holds her pee because she dislikes being told what to do. She even admitted to avoiding bathroom trips to escape washing her hands. It became clear that her occasional accidents were less about physical urgency and more about behavioral choices. At age five, she’s likely experiencing FOMO (fear of missing out) and ignoring her body’s signals until it’s too late.
Our mornings have turned into a battle of wills. She refrains from drinking water at school to avoid bathroom breaks, leading to stressful situations as I urge her to go before leaving the house. I’ve tried various tactics—pleading, threatening consequences, and even rewarding compliance—all to little avail. It’s an exhausting routine, and I’m left feeling helpless.
Each day feels like an uphill climb. My daughter is clearly distressed about something that should be a natural part of life, and I find it increasingly difficult to help her. Despite my efforts to reason with her, nothing seems to change.
For now, I cling to the reassurance that she won’t still be having five accidents a day when she’s a teenager. I hope that this phase is just a hurdle we’ll eventually overcome—together.
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Summary
Potty training regressions can be daunting, especially when they resurface after a child has seemingly mastered the process. It’s crucial to maintain a supportive environment while navigating these challenges. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey.