20 Essential Life Lessons for My 20-Year-Old

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As my eldest child, Alex, just stepped into his twenties, I find myself reflecting on what that milestone really means. It’s a reminder of my own youth—sitting in a college classroom, cramming for a Shakespeare midterm, and wearing a thrifted blouse that screamed irony. Those days feel like they were just yesterday, filled with dreams and hopes about what life would bring. Would I find love? A fulfilling career? And where did I leave that cozy tan sweater?

While I did discover many of those dreams, I also faced unexpected losses along the way. Sometimes, things just slip through your fingers—like that sweater or even clarity and love. Yet, looking back, I can see where I made choices that deserve a second thought. My experiences, both good and bad, have equipped me with valuable lessons that I want to share with my now-adult son. Here are my 20 pieces of wisdom for you, Alex, as you navigate this exciting new chapter:

  1. Brew Your Own Coffee: Put the money you’d spend at fancy coffee shops into savings or investment.
  2. If a girl is ignoring your texts, she’s not being mysterious; she’s simply not interested.
  3. Don’t hesitate to negotiate your salary. Companies often have more budget than they let on.
  4. Living with roommates has its challenges—like labeling shared food. Embrace solitude at some point; it’s how you discover your true self.
  5. Dance like nobody’s watching. Crank up your favorite tunes and let loose, even if it annoys the neighbors for a few minutes.
  6. Embrace protection—condoms are your best friend in navigating relationships.
  7. The advice to “follow your bliss” can lead you astray. Instead, seek work that inspires you and gets you excited to start the day.
  8. Prioritize naps and baths now; you won’t have the luxury once you have kids. A hammock is a great investment for relaxation.
  9. Take every chance to use the restroom. Trust me, your bladder will thank you later.
  10. The phrase “I need more time” rarely signifies love. Recognize when it’s time to move on.
  11. Cooking spaghetti alle vongole is easier than you think. It’s about finding your rhythm in the kitchen, not following strict recipes.
  12. White bread is a dietary enemy—avoid it unless you’re in Paris, where carbs become a sacred indulgence.
  13. Doctors aren’t infallible. If something feels off, don’t hesitate to seek a second opinion. Just like your mom, who’s good at Internet research.
  14. Take your time when choosing a partner. Red flags can weigh you down if ignored.
  15. Don’t postpone travel until retirement. Start exploring now—there are budget-friendly options available.
  16. Invest in quality clothing that lasts instead of fast fashion. Some of my favorite pieces from my twenties are still in rotation today.
  17. Life has no set roadmap. You’ll face tough choices, and it’s okay to seek advice, but ultimately, you must decide your path.
  18. Embrace creative solutions. Duct tape and a grocery bag can be lifesavers!
  19. Name-calling is unacceptable at any age. Stand up for yourself when others resort to insults.
  20. Always stay in touch with your mother. I may not always be around, but I love you more than anyone else.

As you embark on this journey, remember that life is a series of lessons. Whether you’re facing challenges or savoring victories, these insights will guide you. And when you need support, just remember to reach out. We can always share a laugh or a heartfelt conversation, even if it’s just over the phone.

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In summary, stepping into your twenties is a thrilling adventure filled with lessons and opportunities. Embrace them all, and don’t forget to cherish the little moments along the way.


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