At just 28 years old, my health has taken a severe downturn. My doctor has given me a grim prognosis: only a few months left. I’ve even made arrangements for my funeral, right down to the fragrance I plan to wear.
When I first met my doctor, he lamented, “If only we could have diagnosed this sooner.” I felt as if time slowed and his words faded into the background. As I stand at the precipice of my life, I yearn to leave this world knowing that I contributed more than I took. I want to validate my existence by improving the lives of others, driven by urgency and fear. I am acutely aware that my efforts seem small compared to what I owe.
Facing the end of my life has cleared the fog, revealing what truly matters. You’ve likely heard similar sentiments before. Like many, I’ve read touching stories from those preparing to say goodbye. Now, I find myself confronting death head-on.
Here are the insights I’ve gleaned during this time. My hope is that by sharing them, I can help someone else as my own life wanes.
Death Has Given Me Clarity
My husband and children see death as a terrifying monster, a shadow they wish to avoid. I used to share that view, living as if the future was a certainty. I meticulously planned for what was to come—myself, my children, my husband—believing I could shape our destinies.
However, death has liberated me from that relentless planning. It has allowed me to break free from a rigid view of time. I now see endless possibilities and feel truly awake. I understand that I am part of a much larger narrative, and so are you.
Death defies our conventional understanding. It isn’t merely the end of life; it’s an experience unique to each individual. While others may claim to share this journey with me, the truth is that my death is mine alone. This perspective can only be understood personally—it is a singular event that I alone will experience.
Someday, you too will face your own mortality.
Stop Postponing Conversations About Death
Death isn’t some distant event written on a forgotten calendar. We treat it as a far-off certainty, but in truth, we all face this inevitability. If death is gold, we have tarnished it beyond recognition.
I wish I could have lived my entire life with the awareness I have now. I no longer fear death; instead, I see it as a profound absence of existence. Through this lens, I can see the full spectrum of my potential.
Take Charge of Your Life
Your life is defined by how you approach death. When I contemplate my mortality, it’s akin to taking a journey into space. From that vantage point, how significant do your fears appear?
Never allow others’ opinions to dictate your choices. Don’t shy away from pursuing new ideas—follow them with passion. Break free from bad habits without delay. Excuses have no place in a life well-lived.
Cherish Your Loved Ones
Initially, my diagnosis filled me with despair, especially concerning my children. I chose to homeschool them to give them the best start; soon, however, I will be unable to provide that care. I would give anything to remain with them. The love and support from my family and friends have been my lifeline. Always treasure these connections.
This reflection serves as my farewell, as I wish to spend my remaining days surrounded by those I love.
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