Every parent reaches a breaking point at some stage. It often leads to a bold declaration or a drastic measure, eliciting the exact response they sought. That’s precisely what transpired during Christmas in 1983.
My five siblings and I had no inkling that we were about to encounter our mother’s version of Shock and Awe. Growing up, our contrasting personalities frequently clashed, leading to endless petty disputes that Mom tirelessly refereed. Each of us was fiercely protective of our own viewpoint because if she couldn’t determine who was at fault, we all faced consequences.
That Christmas morning, Mom decided enough was enough. She picked up her metaphorical rope and boldly announced that we wouldn’t be allowed to open our presents until we each said something nice about one another. The groans and eye-rolls that followed were of no consequence to her. Mom was resolute, prepared to sit in silence for as long as it took. According to her, the compliments came slowly and were quite basic.
We barely made eye contact, our gazes fixed on the wrapped gifts in our laps. Eventually, Mom and Dad relented, allowing us to open our presents since we had technically met her requirement. Christmas proceeded as it typically would, but this was not the end of Mom’s ingenious idea.
The following year, she repeated the proclamation, but this time, she insisted on sincerity. We pondered what heartfelt words everyone would come up with. By the third year, we were ready. In the months leading up to Christmas, we began noting kind deeds or special achievements. When it finally came time to unwrap gifts, we had more than one nice thing to share!
Over time, expressing kindness became second nature. Mom beamed with pride as she and Dad absorbed every compliment while we gathered in the living room, hoping the warm feelings would linger before the next trivial argument erupted. At 13, I was there for that initial “punishment,” and now, at 47, we still can’t open presents together on Christmas until we’ve said something kind about one another.
What began as a simple punishment has blossomed into a treasured family tradition. Our compliments have grown increasingly meaningful over the years. It’s the one moment we all eagerly anticipate during our Christmas festivities. “Hey, Mom, we actually agree on something!”
This cherished ritual grants us the opportunity to express sentiments we often overlook throughout the year. It’s a time filled with laughter, as inside jokes and funny stories weave together with heartfelt affirmations. You can count on a few tears, too. These tears aren’t just from the recipients of the kind words; they also flow from the givers, overwhelmed by the love that binds our quirky, boisterous family. This annual moment serves as a reminder of our strength, despite our differences, and that we always stand by each other.
Now, as adults scattered across the country with our own families, the opportunities for conflict have dwindled. We’ve learned to appreciate each other’s quirks and enjoy our time together. Perhaps it’s because Mom taught us to focus on the good in each other, to engage in meaningful conversations, and to recognize that disagreements don’t prevent us from offering sincere praise. Thanks, Mom.
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Summary
What started as a punishment during a chaotic Christmas in 1983 became a heartwarming family tradition that continues to strengthen our bonds. Through sincere compliments and shared laughter, we celebrate the love that unites us, reminding us of the importance of kindness and family support.