A few weeks back, my friend Jessica reached out to me about a pair of running pants she couldn’t use. As fellow running enthusiasts, she knew I’d appreciate them. They were a high-end brand in an eye-catching color, and I was thrilled when she offered them to me for free as a gesture of “runner’s karma.” When I received them, it felt like an early Christmas gift, because I would never justify spending that much on such a seemingly indulgent item for myself.
Now, after a workout in my new tights, I feel fantastic. My stride had a little more bounce during my run this morning, and let me tell you, they are quite flattering. Even my husband, who usually doesn’t notice my wardrobe changes, remarked on how great I looked as I headed out the door. I might just wear these pants forever.
But my frugality doesn’t stop at workout gear. When it comes to purchases for myself, I always hunt for the cheapest option, driving myself crazy in the process. Often, I get so overwhelmed in my quest for the best deal that I end up giving up altogether. However, when it comes to buying for my friends, kids, or husband, I have no qualms about splurging to get them exactly what they need. Whether it’s an extravagant gift for a friend or a pricey pair of basketball shoes for my daughter when she inevitably outgrows another pair, I’m all in.
Recently, I shared my struggle to indulge in anything for myself with a few friends, and they all nodded in agreement, admitting they too find it tough to recognize their own worthiness for a treat. While we all know it’s okay to occasionally dip into the family budget for a personal reward, putting that knowledge into action is a different story. It had me pondering the roots of our constant self-neglect.
As mothers, we’re often conditioned to prioritize others over ourselves from the start. Whether it’s being cautious about what we eat while breastfeeding or sacrificing sleep during our kids’ nightmares, we consistently put our children’s needs ahead of our own. Daily, we make choices that reflect the expectation of selflessness—it’s just what moms do.
But here’s the truth, ladies: we need to prioritize self-care to effectively care for our families. It starts with acknowledging that we deserve that larger Starbucks coffee or the cute sandals that make our legs look amazing. The world won’t end if you spend money on those fitness classes you’ve been longing to try, and life won’t stop if you treat yourself at your favorite bookstore every now and then.
Being a little selfish is not just acceptable; it’s necessary. We’ve earned the right to pamper ourselves with a manicure or a soothing massage. Motherhood is challenging, and if we wait for someone else to recognize our hard work, we’ll be waiting a long time. By putting ourselves first, we not only feel better about the chaos that comes with school runs and PTA duties, but we also teach our families that we’re worth the effort too. When our kids see us treating ourselves, they learn that they aren’t the center of the universe—or at least not all the time.
So yes, splurge on yourself. And it doesn’t always have to be monetary. Take a 20-minute breather before the kids come home; the laundry can wait. Spend some time chatting with a friend after a PTA meeting; your child won’t mind if you’re a few minutes late picking them up from practice. Pause and ask your husband to give you a kiss in the kitchen; I promise dinner won’t burn. Skip family movie night occasionally to soak in a hot bath or take a much-needed nap. Make it a point to do something nice for yourself every day and remember that you’re an incredible mom. Celebrate your awesomeness, even if it means having a little shopping spree at Target. No judgment here!
If anyone’s looking for me, I’ll be on the couch, admiring my new running pants while catching up on my favorite shows and sipping my Venti Starbucks coffee before the kids get back. When they come home to a refreshed mom with a smile, that’s a treat everyone can appreciate.
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In summary, it’s essential to recognize our worth and prioritize self-care to maintain our well-being as mothers. We deserve to treat ourselves, even if it feels out of character.