When it comes to parenting, I like to think of myself as pretty relaxed. I don’t let the little things get to me, and I often roll with the punches. Like that one time my son decided to decorate himself with permanent markers from head to toe right before we were set to leave for dinner. I took a deep breath and headed out anyway.
Or the time my youngest thought the backyard was his personal restroom, even though the actual bathroom was only about 50 feet away. I sighed a bit louder that time and assigned him to his own “poop patrol.”
And let’s not forget when all the males in my house—including my husband—leave the toilet seat up. I give an exaggerated sigh (maybe even slam it down a bit) but somehow, I manage not to freak out.
That said, I can be pretty chill, easygoing, and calm most of the time. But there are moments when my deep breaths morph into hyperventilating and my IDGAF attitude takes a sharp turn toward “Forget This!” I can be impatient, dramatic, and emotional—what you might call having a “short fuse.”
To be honest, there are times when I lose my damn mind. Whether it’s because the living room looks like a tornado of baseball cards or I’ve just sat in a puddle of pee, there are days when the deep breathing and calming techniques just don’t cut it.
Some days feel like a Category 5 hurricane of chaos, and no amount of essential oils or soothing music can help. In those moments, you may need to recalibrate with a hearty “Screw this!” and maybe even some serious pillow punching. Don’t underestimate the power of a good foot stomp or door slam as you prepare for guilt-free retail therapy.
I firmly believe that sometimes you need to lose your cool for a hot minute, gather yourself, and move on. Yes, “keeping calm and carrying on” is a nice idea, but for many of us, “losing your sh*t occasionally and moving forward” is far more achievable.
Now, let’s be clear: losing your sh*t is about an emotional release. It doesn’t mean being violent or emotionally abusive. It’s about expressing your frustrations in a responsible way without scaring your kids or damaging relationships. It’s acknowledging your feelings and letting them out, then moving on.
So, how do you lose it responsibly?
Step 1: Get yourself away from other people, especially your kids.
Step 2: Let it all out.
Step 3: Calm down and carry on.
When life really goes off the rails, sometimes you just need to lock yourself in the bathroom and vent with a series of colorful expletives. You might need to call up your best friend to rant about how your kids are driving you bonkers with their constant fighting. You could even indulge in a snack of Cheetos dipped in ice cream topped with marshmallows and cookie dough. And yes, there might be a moment when you silently flip off your partner for questioning if it’s “that time of the month” when you just want to discuss how to work the dishwasher.
There are times when a polite request to “get your coat on” just doesn’t cut it. You might need to pull your child close and hiss in your best horror-movie voice, “Get your freaking coat on… or else” (even if you don’t quite know what “or else” entails).
Most of the time, I can recharge with a little Bob Ross, online shopping, or belting out ’80s hits in the kitchen. But there are days when that’s simply not enough. Sometimes you need to let loose, purge the negativity, and move forward. Because unless they start selling an essential oil called “Forget This” or the deep breaths come with a side of cannabis, sometimes the “woo-woo” just won’t suffice. An emotional cleanse of venting, cursing, and letting it all hang out is truly what you need.
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In summary, it’s entirely normal to feel overwhelmed as a parent. Sometimes, losing your sh*t is not only understandable but necessary for your mental health. Embrace those moments, but remember to find your way back to calmness afterward.