When my first daughter arrived, I fully embraced the role of a stay-at-home mom. Surprisingly, I managed to land this job through motherhood, especially considering I was just a chaotic 22-year-old before that. For the first couple of years, I was with her every single day, engaging in all the typical SAHM activities. As I began a college program, she started part-time daycare, leading to a unique balance where I was a “student mom” three days a week, while I spent the remaining days at home with her.
This period of separation was both strange and exhilarating. My child began to develop friendships that I wasn’t part of, which was a bittersweet realization. While it can be a beautiful extension of community, it can also stir feelings of guilt or even judgment from others. Fast forward three years, and I’ve transitioned to being a full-time working mom. I started gradually, moving from student to intern, and then to part-time employee. My children have grown (now ages 4 and 7), and I’ve observed several significant changes in my life as a working mom.
Time Becomes Precious
One thing is abundantly clear: time is a luxury. The days are no longer stretched out and free. Bedtime arrives nearly as soon as we return home, eat, and settle down for a brief moment of relaxation. Finding a balance between must-dos, relaxation, and quality family time is a constant juggling act. Weekdays often feel like a blur, leaving us to navigate our lives from weekend to weekend.
A New Reality of Disconnection
Thanks to my supportive partner, I’m fortunate to share parenting responsibilities. However, I’ve come to realize that this is essential for families with working moms. Something has to give, and the aim is to protect mom’s sanity and happiness. Recently, I found myself unable to remember which milk brand my kids preferred. My limited time at home has made it difficult to track their preferences and meals. It’s striking how quickly I’ve lost touch with these small yet significant details that I would have easily known as a stay-at-home mom.
Fostering Friendships Takes a Backseat
As a working parent, it’s clear that I can’t always nurture my child’s relationships. While I want my kids to bond with loving and trustworthy adults, it can be daunting. My daughter has formed a social circle that includes her school friends and their families. She often goes to a friend’s house after school, and I can’t even recognize some of these parents when my husband mentions them. It’s astonishing to feel so out of the loop regarding these little individuals I care for deeply.
Expanding Social Circles
With everyone in our family spending time apart, we’ve each entered different social environments, which broadens our community but also increases our obligations. From birthday parties to work events, the social calendar can become overwhelming. Currently, during the holiday season alone, I am juggling two work Secret Santa exchanges, a preschool adopt-a-family initiative, a school book exchange, and a food drive, not to mention family gatherings. It can be exhausting, but engaging with each of these small ecosystems is essential.
Finding Joy in Change
While my life is undoubtedly different now, I genuinely enjoy my current routine. I thrive on having my own identity and personal space, something that was challenging to maintain as a stay-at-home mom. Even though I sometimes long for those days of being with my children all the time, I understand that children naturally grow and need their own space. This transition is not inherently good or bad; it’s simply a different path.
I’ve come to appreciate that my stay-at-home days had an expiration date. As a working mom, I have some control over my daily schedule, yet I’m often running late and feeling stretched thin. Nonetheless, the upside is that I get a break from my kids, which is often elusive for stay-at-home moms. I can pursue my dreams while modeling that ambition for my children. I hope they will one day understand why I might not have baked for school parties or remembered every detail. This navigation of separation is a part of growing up.
I used to sympathize with working families, questioning how they managed to see their kids and maintain balance. However, on this side of the fence, it doesn’t feel quite so daunting. Each lifestyle has its pros and cons, with both containing dedicated parents and their unique challenges. And let’s be honest, the extra income makes a significant difference too.
If you’re navigating similar changes, you might find this resource on pregnancy and home insemination useful, or check out at-home insemination kits from reputable retailers like Cryobaby. For more insights into pregnancy week by week, March of Dimes offers excellent guidance.