The annual GOOP Holiday Gift Guide is back, and it’s as eye-popping as ever! Each year, this extravagant guide serves as a reminder that while some of us are counting pennies, others are splurging on some truly bizarre gifts. This time, they’ve introduced a section dedicated to lovers, humorously dubbed The Lover Gift Guide, and it’s just as odd as it sounds.
Let’s take a look at some of the peculiar offerings:
Fur Oil for Pubic Hair – $39
This product claims to soften and condition with a blend of grapeseed and jojoba oils, along with tea tree oil for its antimicrobial properties. Because nothing says romance quite like a product specifically labeled for pubic hair.
A-Cup Pillow – $295
Imagine a pillow shaped like a breast, crafted from highland wool and buckwheat. This throw pillow might seem like a cozy addition to your home, but let’s be real—who needs a breast-shaped pillow?
Bang Plate – $80
The description reads simply, “Bang plates. Get it?” Honestly, I’m still trying to figure that one out.
Seletti Toilet Paper Little Butt Table – $416.25
Yes, you read that right. This table, complete with a cheeky design of a playing card shoved into a butt, is being marketed as a romantic gift. I can’t even…
One Feather Earring – $350
Just one earring. The description suggests it pairs well with another piece, but it leaves you wondering who wears only one earring.
Membership to a Secretive Sex Club – Price Unavailable
This exclusive club promises a collection of eccentric experiences for its members, including a “Grand Playground.” The initiation sounds a bit ominous, but hey, nothing says “I love you” like a membership to a mysterious orgy club.
Nightgown – $168
This gown is described as “body flattering,” but I’m skeptical about how many bodies it would actually flatter. Still, everyone could use a little mystery in their nightwear, right?
Sex Dust – $20
Marketed as an edible formula designed to spark desire, this product is “especially good with nut milk.” Because who wouldn’t want a scoop of this powder mixed into their almond milk instead of a glass of bubbly?
With such a selection, choosing a gift feels almost impossible! Whether it’s a bizarre pillow or an initiation into a secret sex club, this guide has truly outdone itself. You can either embrace the absurdity or wonder what the heck is going on in the world of luxury gifting.
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In summary, the GOOP Holiday Gift Guide for Lovers is a hilariously unsexy collection that challenges the norms of romantic gifting, leaving us with more questions than answers.