As the holiday season approaches, it can bring a mix of emotions, especially after a divorce. You may have successfully created a new routine for yourself and your children, but now the holidays are looming on the horizon like a freight train. Halloween rolls around, and suddenly you’re reminded that Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas are just around the corner.
You might find yourself rifling through your divorce decree, which, if you’re like me, is a bit worse for wear—highlighted, wrinkled, and perhaps even stained with the remnants of wine from those late-night reflection sessions. The holiday plans often involve complex arrangements, whether you’re alternating years with your ex or trying to make it work despite the tension.
Regardless of your situation, it’s important to remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to celebrating the holidays post-divorce. You must do what feels healthiest for both you and your children. If you can come together for a joint celebration, that’s fantastic! But if you can’t, don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s okay to have different experiences and emotions.
If you’re grappling with feelings of loneliness or sadness during this time, know that you’re not alone. The first time you have to let your kids go for the holidays can feel like your heart is being slowly unraveled. Waking up to a quiet house on Christmas morning, devoid of the joyful chaos of children, is a stark reminder of what’s changed. Acknowledge these feelings—they’re valid.
But here’s the encouraging part: you will get through this. Each year can bring a little more healing. While some pains may linger, they often become easier to manage. It’s essential to focus on the present and cherish the moments you do have with your kids—watch them grow and change, and enjoy the time spent together.
As for how to spend the time when the kids are away, the options are plentiful. You can take your time to mourn the loss of traditions, but eventually, you may want to explore new avenues to rejuvenate your spirit. Here are seven strategies to help you thrive during the holidays after a divorce:
1. Reach Out for Connection
Let your friends and family know you’ll be spending the holidays alone. You might be pleasantly surprised by the invites you receive. Whether it’s a friend’s family gathering or a fellow single parent looking for companionship, accepting these offers can provide much-needed warmth and connection.
2. Treat Yourself to Your Favorite Foods
If finances allow, splurge a little on your favorite indulgences, whether it’s a decadent meal or a sweet treat. Make a cheesecake and savor it straight from the pan, or enjoy a bag of your favorite candy without having to hide it from the kids.
3. Binge-Watch Your Favorite Shows
Take advantage of the quiet time to catch up on shows you’ve been wanting to watch. The holidays are an excellent opportunity for some binge-watching sessions—allow yourself to relax and get lost in a good series.
4. Get Moving
Consider going for a walk or engaging in some form of exercise. You might find that getting outside and moving your body can help lift your spirits, even on a lonely holiday.
5. Catch a Movie
If you’ve never tried going to the movies alone, now might be the perfect time to give it a shot. Enjoy the experience of sinking into a plush seat and losing yourself in a film for a couple of hours.
6. Embrace Romance
If you’re in a relationship, take the opportunity to enjoy some fun and spontaneous moments with your partner. Whether it’s a late-night kitchen adventure or cozying up together, these moments can be uplifting.
7. Give Back
Consider volunteering your time or doing something nice for others, like knitting blankets for shelters or helping a neighbor in need. Acts of kindness can bring joy and a sense of purpose during the holidays.
Always remember, the holidays will come and go, and so will your kids. The way you choose to spend this time is ultimately up to you. It’s perfectly valid to feel a mix of emotions, but try to find ways to create happiness amid the challenges.
You’re not alone in this journey. If you want to explore more on navigating life after divorce, check out our post on how to thrive during the holidays. And if you’re considering starting a family in the future, you might find that this online retailer offers great options for at-home insemination kits. For additional resources on fertility, Hopkins Medicine provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
The holiday season can be daunting after a divorce. By reaching out for connection, treating yourself, engaging in favorite activities, and giving back, you can navigate this time with grace. Remember, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to seek joy amidst the challenges.