I genuinely believe that every child, even those as young as three or four years old, deserves to have their constant “why” questions answered. Sure, it can be draining and sometimes even frustrating to respond to each query, but in my mind, children warrant the same respect we give to adults when it comes to their inquiries.
However, my heart knows that the reality of parenting doesn’t always align with my idealistic approach. While I’d love to explain every “why” in detail, there are moments when I simply don’t have the time or energy. In those instances, the words “Because I said so” slip out of my mouth. And honestly, I despise saying it. It feels like a cop-out, as if I’m denying my children a meaningful explanation and just trying to get through the day.
Take those hectic mornings, for example. When we’re racing against the clock, and my child asks, “Why do we have to go to the doctor?” I’d prefer to elaborate on how the doctor helps keep us healthy and strong. But instead, I find myself blurting out, “Because I said so. Now hurry up!”
Or consider bedtime. Once I’ve completed the drawn-out routine and turned off the light, I hear, “Mom, why can’t we have snacks in bed?” My brain wants to delve into the potential for crumbs, dirty sheets, and ants, but it’s late, and frankly, I’m too tired for that. So out it comes: “Because I said so,” as I gently close the door behind me.
I understand the significance of explaining my actions and decisions to my kids. I want them to grow up with the same patience I hope to instill in them. But let’s face it: kids ask a lot of questions, and after a long day, I sometimes just want to unwind with a drink.
Moreover, there’s a matter of respect involved. As a wise character from a popular show once said, “Respect my authority!” There are appropriate times for questions, but when I’ve asked you to do something or not do something, it’s crucial to follow through without a barrage of “whys.” We have a lifetime ahead of us for those discussions, but there are moments, like when we’re rushing to school, that demand immediate compliance.
I have hopes for my children as they grow. I wish for fewer, but more meaningful questions—questions that seek deeper understanding rather than surface-level curiosity. “Why can’t I color on the bathroom wall?” pales in comparison to inquiries like, “Why does my friend have two dads?”
As we continue on this parenting journey, I aspire to find more time and patience for thoughtful responses. However, for now, my little ones, aged three and four, need to grasp that there’s a right time for questions, a right time for answers, and a time for simply doing what Mom says because she is in charge—because she said so.
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In summary, while the phrase “Because I said so” may not be the most ideal response, sometimes it’s the most practical. Balancing the need for understanding with the realities of parenting is a constant challenge, but it’s all part of the journey.