Why I Told My Daughter With Autism That Santa Isn’t Real

Why I Told My Daughter With Autism That Santa Isn’t RealGet Pregnant Fast

Updated: Dec. 19, 2023

The enchantment of Christmas has always captivated me. The way it inspires kindness and compassion in people is truly heartwarming. Charitable organizations often see a surge in donations during December, and children joyfully sing carols at schools. While the holiday has become quite commercialized, it still offers families a chance to bond and creates a palpable excitement for a day that feels special.

So, why would I shatter that festive spirit by explaining to my sweet, bright-eyed daughter that Santa Claus isn’t real?

Let me clarify: I’m not suggesting that this approach is right for every child. My daughter has autism, which played a significant role in my decision to share the truth about Santa for several reasons:

1. Her Literal Thinking Created Distress

My daughter’s tendency to think literally caused her considerable anxiety surrounding Santa. Books, TV shows, and her friends at school all spoke of Santa coming down the chimney. However, we don’t have a chimney, and no imaginative tale about magic keys or flying in through windows could alleviate her confusion. She found it perplexing that Santa could be at a mall, at her school party, and at the North Pole making toys all at once. She questioned why some Santa figures wore glasses while others did not, and why they had varying body types. For her, the magic of Santa became a source of distress rather than joy.

2. Anxiety Affecting Sleep

The mere idea of a stranger entering our home while she slept horrified her. Instead of excitement about gifts, she worried about how Santa would carry all his presents, whether his reindeer would get tired, and if she might be forgotten (thanks, Peppa Pig, for that added anxiety!). The mention of Santa didn’t make her want to be on the “nice” list; it kept her awake at night and on edge every time the doorbell rang. I couldn’t watch her struggle with something that was supposed to be a joyful occasion.

3. Social Expectations Were Overwhelming

While she never visited Santa in a grotto, she often found the social dynamics surrounding Santa at school events to be distressing. After years of teaching her basic social rules—like not talking to strangers—she witnessed her peers breaking these rules simply because a stranger was dressed in red. For a child with autism, this breach of social norms can be deeply unsettling, making Santa a source of confusion rather than fun.

4. Her Love for Her Brother Took Precedence

The most compelling reason I shared the truth about Santa with my daughter was her fierce love for her brother, who has complex needs and cannot communicate verbally. After a challenging weekend, someone told her that he would be on Santa’s “naughty” list and wouldn’t receive gifts. This devastated her, and in that moment, she asked me to tell her the truth about Santa.

So, I did. Revealing that Santa wasn’t real transformed our holiday experience. Suddenly, everything clicked for her. She understood how Santa could be in multiple places at once, realized that chimney tales were just stories, and felt safe knowing that a stranger wouldn’t enter our home while she slept. She became aware that the man in red wasn’t a stranger to the children who sat on his lap, and most importantly, she knew her brother would receive gifts, regardless of his behavior.

In hindsight, I wish I had told her the truth about Santa sooner. Now that she knows he’s not real, she is more excited about Christmas than ever. She knows what presents she’s getting and who purchases them.

For some children with autism, the truth can be more liberating than the myth.

If you’re interested in learning more about family dynamics and sensitive topics, check out this other blog post here. While navigating parenting can be challenging, resources like these artificial insemination kits can provide valuable support for those considering at-home options. Additionally, the NHS offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination for those looking to expand their families.

Summary:

In this heartfelt reflection, Jessica Lane discusses her decision to tell her daughter with autism that Santa Claus isn’t real. She explains how her daughter’s literal thinking, anxiety, and social challenges made the myth of Santa more distressing than magical. Ultimately, this revelation transformed their holiday experience, allowing her daughter to enjoy Christmas with clarity and excitement.

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