“How long will she be doing that?” someone asked about my still-breastfeeding 2-year-old. “Isn’t she a bit old for that?”
No, but I appreciate your concern.
“She’s still not potty trained, huh?” remarked another about my newly 3-year-old. “Isn’t it time for her to ditch the diapers?”
No, but thanks for your input.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard people question whether a child is too old for certain things—like drinking from a bottle, sucking on a pacifier, or riding in a stroller. The list goes on. Elementary school kids who still sleep with a beloved blanket often get the side-eye. Strangers cluck their tongues at a 3-year-old who hasn’t yet mastered the toilet. Every Halloween, there’s a chorus of complaints about teenagers trick-or-treating, even when they’re decked out in costumes.
Did I miss the memo about age limits on everything?
We have this strange idea that, as kids grow, there are arbitrary cut-off ages for certain behaviors. We fret that allowing our children to continue these habits too long will hinder their development, or we feel judged as parents if our kids engage in activities beyond what we consider “normal.”
Sure, a small number of parents may hold their kids back for questionable reasons, and yes, some behaviors need to be phased out within a reasonable timeframe. However, those limits shouldn’t be dictated by random strangers or nosy neighbors.
There’s so much we can’t see from the outside. The teenager who can’t sleep without her teddy bear? She could be dealing with anxiety. The older child riding in a grocery cart might just appear older than he is. The tween who still believes in Santa may simply have a deep love for fantasy. The 8-year-old who sleeps in her parents’ room might come from a culture where that’s the norm.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of different values and perspectives. My youngest is now 7, and I can barely lift him anymore, so I rarely do. Yet, I carried all my kids when they were tired until it became physically impossible. Some may view that as coddling, but I see it as offering support and compassion. If I could carry my spouse or my mother when they’re fatigued, I would do the same.
None of us have the right to judge what is appropriate for another child or family. If I encounter a child who seems too old for a certain behavior, I remind myself that others have likely thought the same about my kids without knowing their full story. Every family, every parent, and every child is unique, and unless serious health or safety concerns are involved, it’s not my place to have an opinion about their choices—or to voice it without being asked.
If you see a child who seems too old for something, consider a few questions: Is the child genuinely being harmed by this? Are there factors I’m unaware of regarding this child or family? Is it even my business? Why does it bother me?
Kids develop at vastly different rates, and they eventually grow out of just about everything. Unless you are a professional psychologist familiar with a child’s specific circumstances, there’s no reason to judge whether they’re too old for any particular activity.
You do you, and let other families progress at their own pace. For further insights, check out some of our other blog posts, like this one here. And if you’re interested in at-home insemination, consider visiting Make A Mom for reliable syringe kits. For more information on fertility, Medical News Today is an excellent resource.
In summary, let’s embrace the differences in how children grow and develop. What seems late for one child may be perfectly suitable for another. Trust in your parenting instincts and allow others to do the same.
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