When You Hold It All In and Then Erupt

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My partner and I often find ourselves in heated discussions—one of which revolves around my parenting style. She believes I raise my voice too often, and while I could argue, I know deep down that she’s right. Lately, my volume has been rising, especially with our eldest son hitting the age of 6.

He’s certainly a handful, and that’s before even considering his baby brother, who is now mobile, teething, and experiencing that delightful 9-month sleep regression. Between the two of them, my patience is frequently tested. I often feel like I’m on the edge, and instead of embodying the patient, composed father I aspire to be, I resort to yelling—frequently and sometimes without much provocation. The atmosphere in our home is tense; every time my son pushes back, throws a tantrum, or outright refuses to listen, I shift from calm to furious at lightning speed.

I acknowledge that my tendency to yell is unhealthy. I need to remind myself that my son, at 6 years old, is still learning to manage his emotions. As the adult, it’s my duty to set a positive example, especially since kids learn by observing their parents. I can already see my own reactions mirrored in my son’s behavior, which adds another layer of responsibility—I have to control my own tendencies to prevent them from becoming his. Parenting is quite the challenge!

My partner handles stress differently. While she may not snap as often as I do, when she does, it’s like a volcano erupting. She remains calm for most of the time, but when her frustrations build up, the eruption can be quite startling. I’m aware that neither approach is ideal for maintaining a peaceful home life. While I’m constantly on edge, making my children wary of my reactions, she surprises everyone when she finally reaches her limit.

Though her calmness can be effective, it’s not without its drawbacks. Just because she seems composed most of the time doesn’t mean she isn’t feeling the pressure, and while I may vent my frustrations frequently, her method of holding it all in could be more taxing in the long run.

It’s interesting to think about finding a middle ground. Perhaps I should try her approach of bottled emotions, though I have a feeling that balancing our styles will take some practice. After all, it’s essential to address our stress in a way that benefits both our mental well-being and our relationship with our children.

If you’re in a similar boat, you might find some helpful insights in this other blog post. Also, if you’re considering starting a family, check out CDC’s resources for valuable information. And for those looking for a convenient way to assist in the insemination process, Make a Mom offers reliable at-home insemination kits.

In summary, managing stress as a parent is an ongoing struggle. Whether you’re a yeller like me or someone who keeps it all bottled up like my partner, finding the right approach is crucial for both your peace of mind and your family’s harmony.


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