There are certainly mothers who choose not to breastfeed, and their decisions are personal and valid. I have immense respect for their choices, as a mother’s love isn’t measured by how she feeds her child. However, many mothers enter motherhood with the intention of breastfeeding, only to find themselves struggling to meet those goals.
A 2012 study published in Pediatrics revealed that 85% of mothers plan to exclusively breastfeed for at least three months. Yet, the reality is startling: according to the 2014 Breastfeeding Report Card from the CDC, while 79% of mothers initiate breastfeeding, by three months, only 40% are still exclusively breastfeeding, and by six months, that number drops to just 18%. The Academy of American Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months, so what’s happening?
Why Do So Many Mothers Fall Short?
Why do so many mothers fall short of their breastfeeding goals? Are their bodies betraying them? Is there something inherently wrong with their babies? Or is it simply that the biological process of breastfeeding is fraught with challenges?
As a mother who successfully breastfed both of my children and faced significant hurdles along the way, I also work as a lactation consultant, helping hundreds of moms over the years. The conclusion I’ve drawn is this: in most cases, it’s not the mothers or their babies who fail at breastfeeding; it’s the system that surrounds them that is lacking.
Understanding the Challenges
Let’s be clear: I’m not dismissing the fact that biological issues can occur. Breastfeeding, while natural, doesn’t always go as smoothly as one would hope. Some women may struggle to produce enough milk, and there are cases where anatomical issues like tongue ties or cleft palates complicate breastfeeding. However, there are often solutions available, such as combining breastfeeding with supplementation to ensure that babies receive the nourishment they need.
The real issue is that many mothers are unaware of the resources available to assist them, or they simply cannot afford the necessary support, especially if their insurance does not cover it. Additionally, many moms do not have the time to address breastfeeding challenges due to other responsibilities, which can hinder their ability to establish a successful breastfeeding routine.
The Need for Support
When breastfeeding issues arise, they can take time to resolve—sometimes days, sometimes weeks. Many new mothers only receive brief consultations with lactation specialists during their hospital stay, and if they happen to give birth on a weekend, they may not receive any help at all. Once they return home, they quickly realize that breastfeeding can present new challenges, like engorgement or delayed milk production, leading to hungry, fussy babies.
It’s entirely normal for breastfeeding to be tough at first, and it often requires patience and time spent on the couch nursing. Breastfeeding is a natural process, but it’s also a learned one—both for mothers and babies. New mothers need support, encouragement, and education about what to expect. Yet, the reality is that many do not get the help they need.
With the pressures of household responsibilities, caring for older children, and the looming return to work, it’s no wonder that many mothers give up on breastfeeding within the first weeks. They often feel overwhelmed and unsure of where to seek help, and the lack of support can be disheartening.
Comparative Support in Other Countries
In other countries, mothers receive community support and dedicated time to heal and learn about breastfeeding. They have guaranteed maternity leave that allows them to focus on their newborns instead of worrying about their work responsibilities.
The current system in many areas is fundamentally flawed. It often prioritizes convenience over the well-being of breastfeeding mothers. It’s easier to grab a bottle of formula than to find affordable, compassionate breastfeeding assistance.
A Message to Mothers
To every mom who believes she has “failed” at breastfeeding, I want to assure you: you haven’t failed. You gave it your best effort. You wanted it to work, and you tried hard to make it happen. You found ways to nourish your baby, forming a bond just as strong as any mother who breastfeeds. I’m sorry you didn’t receive the help, time, and support you deserved.
You didn’t fail at breastfeeding; the system failed you, and that’s a real tragedy.
For more insights on the complexities of motherhood and support, check out our article on the challenges mothers face during breastfeeding here. If you’re looking for at-home insemination kits, Make a Mom offers reputable options. For additional information about pregnancy, visit March of Dimes for a wealth of resources.
Conclusion
In summary, breastfeeding can be fraught with challenges, but it’s essential to recognize that the struggles many mothers face often stem from systemic issues rather than personal shortcomings. The support needed to navigate this journey is crucial for establishing a successful breastfeeding relationship.
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