Parenting three children in succession can bring joy, chaos, and sometimes, the challenge of ensuring that each child feels equally cherished. I experienced this firsthand with my three sons, each two years apart. My oldest, Liam, is almost 7 and is currently captivated by chapter books. We often share with family and friends, “Liam is engrossed in Alice in Wonderland!” His status as the eldest means he gets the lion’s share of our attention during home-schooling sessions, where he tackles math, reading, science, and other subjects.
Then there’s my youngest, the baby of the family, Henry. Even though he’s nearing 3, he still relishes his role as the youngest. He proudly declares, “I’m still the baby!” He enjoys co-sleeping, being carried around, and often gets the first choice when it comes to our attention. It’s easy to see why he’s adored; even Liam often carries him around the house.
Now, let’s talk about my middle child, my sweet and mischievous middle son, Oliver. At 4 years old, Oliver is still figuring out letters and reading, making him the quieter presence in our bustling home. While his brothers grab our attention with their immediate needs, Oliver sometimes gets overshadowed in the daily rush. I know I’m not alone in this experience; many parents with three kids struggle to ensure their middle child feels seen and valued. It often requires a more deliberate approach to parenting.
One way I make Oliver feel special is through his love for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He could eat them for every meal and snack! It’s a simple yet effective way to indulge him. While his brothers might be directed to grab a piece of fruit, Oliver knows he can always ask for his favorite sandwich.
Physical touch is crucial for child development, and I strive to shower Oliver with affection frequently. While Liam snuggles up to me during reading time and Henry is constantly in my arms, I make a conscious effort to engage Oliver with hugs, gentle pats on the head, and dedicated reading time. Sometimes it feels like a challenge amid the busyness, but I know how much it means to him.
I also try to involve Oliver in activities alongside Liam. Since I spend significant time helping Liam with his studies, I encourage Oliver to join in with his own tasks. I’ve introduced him to educational platforms like ABCMouse to help him with his letters, and I ensure he has access to crayons, paper, and craft supplies to express his creativity.
Occasionally, I indulge him in baby-like attention. When he sees me fussing over Henry, he often desires the same affection. So, I scoop him up, allow him to nestle on my back, or even let him drift off to sleep in our bed. These moments of closeness are vital for his emotional well-being.
To further strengthen our bond, Oliver and I have a daily ritual: he chooses my outfit. It may seem trivial, but it gives him a sense of importance and control in our routine. He thrives on this little tradition, and it’s a simple way to acknowledge his place in our family.
By incorporating these strategies, I’ve noticed a positive change in Oliver’s behavior. He’s much more patient with his younger brother and expresses affection rather than seeking attention through tantrums. Although middle children can sometimes feel overlooked, their unique needs can be met with intentional love and care.
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In summary, recognizing and nurturing the unique needs of a middle child can create a balanced and loving family dynamic. With a little extra effort and intentionality, you can help your middle child feel cherished and valued.
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