As a soon-to-be mom, I immersed myself in research. I devoured books, watched countless documentaries, and tried to prepare for every aspect of motherhood, especially breastfeeding. I had it all mapped out: a natural birth followed by skin-to-skin time and immediate breastfeeding. What I didn’t plan for was the reality that breastfeeding might not go as smoothly as I envisioned.
My mother had three uncomplicated births and over a decade of successful breastfeeding, so I thought it would be just as easy for me. However, when my son, Oliver, refused to latch for nearly four hours after his birth, I was taken aback. My midwife assured me that his throat was simply irritated from needing meconium suctioned and that he would latch soon. But he didn’t.
He would make half-hearted attempts to latch but quickly pulled away, crying in frustration. I felt exhausted and helpless. Thankfully, Oliver’s blood sugar remained stable, and he didn’t lose too much weight, so we were discharged from the hospital without much guidance. Thus began an exhausting two weeks filled with sleepless nights and worry.
Despite nursing every two hours, Oliver lost almost two pounds. It was baffling. After consulting three lactation specialists, we discovered that he was trying his best but simply couldn’t transfer milk due to an anatomical issue. I was heartbroken and utterly fatigued.
Determined to avoid nipple confusion, my husband and I embarked on a strenuous routine of pumping, using a tube to feed him milk next to my nipple (which took two people, four arms, and at least 30 minutes), and supplementing with formula. We repeated this cycle every two hours, 24/7. I was resolute that breastfeeding was my goal, and it nearly broke me.
In a moment of desperation, I offered Oliver a bottle of my freshly pumped milk. To my amazement, he drank it eagerly and fell asleep contentedly. He began to regain weight, and I realized I had an alternative: exclusively pumping. Surprisingly, this approach was far less chaotic than our previous routine.
I settled into a pumping schedule of six sessions a day, even adding a nighttime session (which allowed me to catch up on some reading). I mastered the art of sanitizing bottles in mere minutes in the dark and discovered the convenience of a hands-free pumping bra. I learned to pump while driving, indulged in lactation cookies, and let my partner handle night feeds. Soon, I could pump, feed Oliver, eat breakfast, and sip my coffee all at once. It was grueling work but incredibly fulfilling.
Over time, I built my supply back up to an impressive 45 ounces a day. Oliver thrived, reaching the 99th percentile for height and weight. By the time he was 12 weeks old, I could drop my nighttime pumping session, finally enjoying some much-needed sleep. My husband and I could savor date nights, and he graciously allowed me to sleep in on weekends by taking over the night feeds. The pumping routine I had established made returning to work much easier. What once felt impossible was now achievable.
I set small milestones for myself: three months, six months, nine months, and finally a year. Now, after nearly 16 months of pumping, I’m in the process of weaning, and I can hardly believe how far I’ve come. Oliver is thriving and healthy, with only one minor fever in his life so far. He’s as chubby as ever, and my partner has had the beautiful opportunity to bond with him through feeding, participating in their own special bedtime routine five nights a week.
These 16 months have been a whirlwind, filled with ups and downs, but they’ve also been some of the happiest moments of my life. I’ve come to appreciate that breastfeeding isn’t all or nothing. Every ounce of milk has been a gift to Oliver, and those drops would have been just as meaningful whether we had breastfed for five days or 25 months. I’ve learned that pumping is indeed a form of breastfeeding, and moms who exclusively pump are some of the most dedicated individuals I’ve ever encountered.
To all the pumping moms out there, I see you. I see you struggling with your pump parts in the dead of night, washing countless bottles, and battling sore, cracked nipples. I see you contemplating smashing your pump but then resigning to yet another session. Remember to take it one day at a time. You can do this. Whether you pump for a week or two years, you have poured your heart and soul into providing the best for your baby, and that effort is remarkable. I see that, too.
For more insights into fertility and home insemination, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re considering at-home insemination kits, this reputable retailer offers a great selection. And if you’re interested in learning more about cervical insemination, take a look at this informative blog post.
Summary
This article shares an honest account of a mother’s 16-month journey of exclusive pumping after struggling with breastfeeding. It highlights the challenges, triumphs, and the importance of flexibility in feeding methods. Ultimately, it emphasizes the dedication of moms who pump and reassures them that their efforts are valued, no matter the duration of pumping.
Leave a Reply