I used to think I had a solid handle on time management before I embraced parenthood. I could easily keep appointments, structure my day, and meet deadlines. Time seemed like my obedient servant, but little did I know it was plotting a coup.
Once the kids arrived, my life revolved around the clock: mealtime, bath time, playtime, and the elusive naptime. I quickly learned that if I didn’t plan the day around these key events, chaos would ensue. My eldest thrived on routine, counting down the “sleeps” until the next activity. In contrast, my youngest preferred a more spontaneous approach, seeing sleep as an inconvenience that risked missing out on the fun.
Juggling these two extreme personalities felt like an elaborate scheme by the universe to keep me on my toes. Toddlers live in a realm devoid of time. This is why you should never, ever mention an upcoming event to a small child more than five minutes in advance. Their emotions are like a volcano waiting to erupt. “When are we going to see Santa? Is it time yet? Can we go now? Mommy, Santa!” If you casually mention Christmas in October, brace yourself for a countdown that will echo in your ears 157,000 times a day for the next three months.
Minutes become meaningless. They’re mere grains of sand in an hourglass—an hourglass that’s often tipped, shaken, and hurled against the wall by small, sticky hands. You find yourself holding up a finger to indicate a minute while you’re on the phone: “Just a sec, honey.” At the grocery store checkout: “One moment, sweetheart.” And while you’re in the bathroom: “For the love of all that’s holy, just a minute!”
I remember one time standing in a long line at the post office, trying to mail six heavy boxes of Christmas gifts that I had precariously piled on the counter. As the line crawled forward, I maneuvered the boxes with my squirming toddler. Naturally, she suddenly needed to potty—something she somehow managed to avoid before leaving home. “Can you wait a minute, sweetie?” She nodded sweetly and then promptly let go, right there on the counter and down the sides onto the floor. Apparently, “wait a minute” translates to “now” in toddler lingo.
Parenting is filled with “now” moments. Our bodies are drawn into this chaotic dance from the very start, needing to eat, sleep, and even go into labor at this very moment. Babies demand soothing right now, while small children want everything immediately. From the moment they can speak, we hear, “Watch me! Are you watching? Look at what I can do now!” It’s utterly exhausting. Some days you find yourself wishing for time to fly by. Bedtime can’t come soon enough. If only they could walk, talk, and be out of diapers. Some days feel like they last forever, while others, filled with rocking and smiles saved just for you, you wish you could freeze in time.
As they grow, parenting is also full of delays. Once they grasp the concept of time, instead of making life easier, it backfires into an endless cycle of waiting. The minutes you desperately hoped they’d grant you are now punctuated with the phrase “five more.” “Time for bed!” “Five more minutes?” “Dinner is ready!” “Five more minutes! I’m almost to the next level/waiting for this show to end/on the phone/playing my game.” Some days, you find yourself wishing they’d hurry up. How long can it take to finish a bowl of cereal, find their shoes, or walk to the car? We’re going to be late to school, practice, or life again!
And then come the “later” moments as they hit their teens. Suddenly, they want everything postponed. “When are you going to take out the trash?” “Later.” “Do you have any homework?” “I’ll do it later.” “When will you be home?” “Later.” “Can we schedule a college visit?” “Let’s do that later. I’ve got to run, Mom; I’ll text you later.” Their time becomes more about their friends and less about you. Those urgent “now”s morph into casual “whenever”s. It’s rare they call out for you to “Watch me!” More often, they prefer privacy. Yet, as they’re out late, you find yourself anxiously watching the clock. You bite your tongue and wait for them to invite you into their world of heartbreak or disappointment. With fewer demands on your time, it feels like the days are slipping through your fingers. Time warps: the days are long, but the years are short.
As I approach the empty nest phase of life, I anticipate the return of uninterrupted scheduling. Ironically, I stopped wearing a watch about a year ago. My oldest is turning 20 this week—an age I can hardly fathom. All the “now”s, “hurry up”s, and “later”s seem like they were just yesterday and yet, eons ago. Suddenly, I want to hit pause. Just a minute! Five more minutes? But alas, time marches on, indifferent to my pleas.
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Summary
Parenting is a whirlwind of moments defined by urgency and anticipation, from the chaotic demands of toddlers to the delayed responses of teenagers. As children grow, the concept of time shifts dramatically, leaving parents navigating a maze of “now,” “later,” and the longing to pause time. Ultimately, the experience is a beautiful chaos that highlights the fleeting nature of time in family life.
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